I'm going to tell you guys about my screwed up life that's not worth living anymore. I'm going to try to summarise everything because it's too long to elaborate on. I've faced so much of disappointment, heartbreak, abuse, loneliness and a lot more. I choose to remain anonymous. When I was a baby, everything was alright. Everyone was happy and everything was peaceful. Fast forward to when I was a little kid, about 4 years old. My father hated me. He always found it necessary to hit me over minor things. When I dropped something, he'd bash me up. If I stepped on my little brother's toes by mistake, my father would slam my head on the bed frame to 'punish me for bullying my brother'. My mother never knew about this as he would do it behind her back, and I was too young and afraid to understand why my dad was treating me like that. When I was 5, I started losing my hearing for some unknown reason. No-one knew about it because they didn't bother to take me for a check-up. Until then, I faced unimaginable circumstances. From the age of 5, till I was a teenager, I was ridiculed in school. I was bullied so much by the students, even teachers. I scored well though, sometimes even topping my entire batch, but I still got bullied. I had a hunch that I was losing my hearing, and I told this to my mom, but she laughed it off and said I was crazy. Until then, my teachers thought I was a loser who never bothered paying attention in class, and they labelled me a 'rebel' and a 'worthless student'. My parents even beat me up in public when my grade 4 teacher complained about me not paying attention and defying her by not responding when she called me. I was so confused and upset by everything. I didn't retaliate, because what could I possibly say against adults who always thought they were right? Fast forward to when I was about 13. After a couple more years of suffering, discrimination and bullying, my hearing loss was diagnosed. But it was not the end of my suffering. Going through all that stress as a kid took a toll on my body, and I started developing systemic candidasis. It wreaked so much havoc on my body. It messed up my digestion, my hair, my skin, my nails, basically everything. Up till now, I cannot eat a variety of food without suffering severe allergic reactions, and it's highly debilitating. I've tried every thing. I've visited countless doctors, tried every type of medicine, tried natural stuff, tried dieting, so please do not give me any medical advice because I've tried everything. Really. In school, I was shunned so much. I just had to clench my teeth and carry on. I had hardly any friends at all. Most of the school hated me and called me a freak who couldn't hear well and who was always sick. What could I possibly do about that? I was so lonely and devastated. Systemic candidasis was seriously screwing my body up and I became so weak and emancipated. I even fainted a couple of times. So much more shit happened. I don't know how I managed to score well in my exams and get into my dream college. I got into one of the best colleges in the world, but I'm gonna withhold the name for privacy's sake. I'm due to start in a WEEK'S time. I so badly want to go because this has been my dream for years. Guess what? My parents are not allowing me to go. They say I don't deserve it because I'm a failure and I'm worthless. I burden them too much. They'd rather not waste the money on someone 'useless' like me. Furthermore, what could I do if they allowed me to go? My health is failing. I'm falling apart. I've visited so many doctors who cannot even help me. I've kept a positive mindset, but I'm still so ill. I can cope with being almost deaf, but with systemic candidasis destroying my body bit by bit (and it's excruciating at times), I just cannot cope. I've given up on so much in life; I've had to forgo so many dreams. If I forgo my college dream, I will be so heartbroken. I know that college is what we make of it, and I could go to another college, but I got into my dream college, a top college, and I have this one chance to shine and show the people who've mistreated me in the past that I managed to stand on my own two feet. But how can I go if my parents do not allow me, and if my health is horrible? I really want to end it all. End this life. I'm tired of being pushed about and bullied. I'm tired of not being normal. I hate my life. The way I was bullied in school has left a huge psychological impact on me, and I cry a lot when I recall it. I am so eager to make friends, so eager to start everything anew, but I cannot even find a cure for this nasty disease in me. How can I just make everything normal in a week? Forget about making things normal - I'm not even being allowed to join college. If we'll all die in a few decades, then what's the point of living? Life is shit and so unfair. I've faced too much at a young age. I've even been shunned by family members. Should I just commit suicide? <Mod Edit, WildCherry: asking for methods>? My family doesn't care anyway, so I don't give a fuck. Once I end this, everything will be alright.