My first memory of depression/suicide was when I was 12. 16 years ago. I won't pretend I haven't acted on thoughts or impulses, just as I won't pretend that I haven't tried many times to get help (counselling, meds, psychology, etc). However in the last while I've confided in a couple friends with more than I wish I did - however once it's done it's done. Now they know more of the truth than anyone else and obviously are a lot more on top of me and my mental health than ever before. So the question is where do I go - I'm open to discuss my depression but not my suicidal thoughts, suicide is such a taboo word and the last thing that anyone suffering wants is people to know the truth. How do I take the next step?