ready to just give up

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by chrism67, May 12, 2012.

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  1. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    I cant keep going on. My thoughts just wont stop. They are all consuming suicidal thoughts. My therapist wants to put me in the hospital. I will never do that again. So i cant tell him. But my thoughts are bad. Im also disassociating. VeryI cant keep going on. My thoughts just wont stop. They are all consuming suicidal thoughts. My therapist wants to put me in the hospital. I will never do that again. So i cant tell him. But my thoughts are bad. Im also disassociating. Veryfrequently. I dont knoq what to do before i listen to my thoughts. Im drowning.
     
  2. Brokengirl123

    Brokengirl123 Well-Known Member

    Is there anything you can do to distract yourself temporarily chrism? Do not listen to those negative thoughts. Put on some loud music, at the same time do something constructive with your hands like cleaning or gardening, or even exercising if you can.

    Why do you not want to go the hosptial again, have you had a bad experience I take it? I know you do not want to but if it saves you from your negative thoughts taking over then it is probably better to talk to your therapist?

    At the very least, keep talking to everyone here okay.
     
  3. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    I just got out of the hospital ans we see how good it did. My thoughts are already consuming me. I cant do anything to distract myself. Im driving more aggressive. Im getting angry swings. Im pushing people away. My thoughts are deffinitly on the darkside.
     
  4. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    Sorry my phone wouldnt let me
    go any further. Ive been dissociating very frequently. I cant change my thoughts.they go as far as plannin. I dont know what else to do.
     
  5. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    I can't do this anymore!!!!!!!
     
  6. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Are you on any medications? Sometimes the medications can be the cause of these thoughts and that is why it is important to report your thoughts. Why suffer if the thoughts are being caused by what you're taking?
     
  7. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Hosp is a good break.How about working a plan out with your therapist on how to control these thoughts.I do get them too but have learnt not to act on them but i do understand they can be very very distressing and easy to give into.so if you are not safe hosp might be a good place.Yes try distract yourself and i know when head is racing not doable but you do need to keep yourself safe.Try and design a plan when these thoughts occur if it dosnt work first few times persist dont get angrey at yourself as just remember you are finding that inner strength again and it will happen patience is the key.And keep venting here as support is 24/7
     
  8. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    One thing i was ashamed to admit to is another symptom thats causing more distress. I dont know how to really put into words but ill try. I have been zoning out quite frequently. I cant remember what i might have been thinking about. Or if im driving i dont remember getting to where i am. Also my feelings are numb. Except for anger and suicidal. And my anger goes into total ra ige. dont know whats going on. Andi ocant deal wirh this anymore.i dont know what to do. Im very suicidal. i just cant keep existing anymore.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 14, 2012
  9. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    I just cant cope. Im done. My plan is ready. Noplace else to go.no hope. And only despair.
     
  10. spidy

    spidy Well-Known Member

    Those symptms you just described remind me when i was in deep depression and felt like i was in a big hole not being able to find the top.my suicidal thoughts took over my rational thinking and feeling any reality.Is why it is so important to seek some help and advice as soon as possable otherwise it just gets worse and believe me its easier to get better than to let this build.Suicide isnt the answer and that an irrationable part of your thought process at the moment due to depression.To talk to your therapist and work out some coping strategies is a good start.I know first hand about racing thought and your doc should be able to recommend some meds to help with them too.i was put on mood stabalisers which slowed my thinking down heaps.But seeking some help is first steps you need to make to find ways to help you sort these thoughts and racing thoughts.
     
  11. chrism67

    chrism67 Well-Known Member

    Ive been on tons of meds, had ect, and in all different kinds of therapy. Nothing works. Im at the edge. Theres no turning back. Theres no continuing on. I have nowhere to turn. Im tired of existing with no positive outcomes. Im done.
     
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