I'm 26, and I was diagnosed with depression almost 20 years ago. Most of my life has been pain, suffering, and mental torture. I'd say overall, my life hasn't been worth living at all. For the past four years, I've grown increasingly obsessed with the fact that I can't get a girlfriend, or even a date. I've only been in one relationship, and I'm counting down the months until January,where it will have been seven years since my last date. I figure that at this point, if I was ever going to be in a relationship again, it would have happened, so it's time to give up. I've seen multiple doctors, tried dozens of medications, and been hospitalized twice. Nobody's been able to help me or convince me that things will work out. I have my suicide plan all mapped out, and am about ready to go through with it. Why should I bother living when I'm going to be both lonely and sick in the head for the rest of my existence?