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Ready To Rest

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by MisterBGone, Mar 10, 2012.

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  1. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    I have now eliminated all alternatives to my termination. I saw my doctor--he's retiring! I spent two separate stints in both major hospitals in my area. They no longer will treat me: if I seek inpatient again, they've threatened/guaranteed commitment. So, the one primary fail-safe prevention plan I've used in the past for my own killing is now gone. As a two-time group member of the day therapy program the hospital offers for depression, I have been told that I am not welcome to return. They claim that I am too healthy to be there. I guess those hospital visits weren't enough to convince them otherwise! Most likely they, much like the hospitals, don't like me (at least not enough to continue to treat me for my condition). So, what am I to do? Professional help seems to have vanished. Friends extinct. Family sick of my sickness. No job. I considered going back to school for a second degree, followed by graduate school. But who am I kidding? And yet, so many things I never got to accomplish: make my movie/find my wife/win a genuine friend (fuck the false ones)....I think that if any of those things were possible they would have happened by now....So, I can complain no more....And I apologize to you all, for being a bore!
  2. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Can you find another doctor? I'm sure that you can find a place that will treat you. If you want to go back to school, then you should go for it. You can't say that you'll fail at things you haven't even tried to accomplish. Just like you said, fuck the false friends. You should only have people in your life who truly care about you. It doesn't matter if you haven't accomplished what you wanted to yet, but there is plenty of time to do it all, if you stick around. Just keep driving yourself to do what you want and screw what everyone else thinks.
  3. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    Wow! Thanks for incredible response--it's unbelievable! I really do like your attitude! On the doctor front--my one and only psychi is leaving for good this summer. In fact he's already retired from outpatient practicing, so the only shot you've got to see him is to check your self in. Which has been, mostly my problem as of late: when the hospital runs out of beds, they ship you across town, to a different facility that does not have any of your records. And evidently, cannot or will not get them from my doctor. So it's frustrating....I suppose I could take a road trip to try another hospital in another city. Rochester Mayo is within reasonable driving range for me, as well. You do raise very valid points as to my potential future career path. Sometimes, I sink into subjectivity. Again, I appreciate the wonderful reply--kind words have been in short supply!
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 11, 2012
  4. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    That's good and I hope that things will get better for you, in terms of finding a decent hospital. I'm glad that I was able to help you, if even a little.
  5. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I agree with Christy. You may not have accomplished what you want in life yet, but you've still got time. And fake friends aren't worth it; only people who really care are worth your time.
  6. rv498

    rv498 Well-Known Member

    U don't have to accomplish something to be trurly happy. Or so I was told. But good luck though.
  7. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It is so hard when you loose a connection that has helped you hun but now is the time to make a new connection okay If you have too you go to another hospital and you get the treatment you need and deserve I hope your pdoc is setting you up with a new doctor who can open some new doors fo ryou hugs
  8. MisterBGone

    MisterBGone Well-Known Member

    If you all were here, or I was there, I'd hug the ever loving stuffing out of you!!! (& I hate hugs; oh, do I hate hugs..;))
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