I'm planning on eating about <Mod Edit Hazel: Method> and chasing it with as much whiskey as I can drink. If I can find some sedatives I'll take those too because I fear being awake when the < Mod Edit Hazel: Method> It will cause my kidneys to fail and combined with the alcohol will destroy my liver. Even if I were found and had my stomach pumped I'd be dead within 5 days tops. That would really suck. I hope it only takes a few hours. It makes some people's brains swell which would also be terrible but would at least speed up the process. I thought about trying to bleed out after I'm good and drunk and have swallowed the load. It will cause my blood pressure to drop. < Mod Edit Hazel: Method > I'm not sure if I have the stomach to cut myself. FUCK! I'll probably puke up the pills too even if I'm passed out. I want this to work but there doesn't seem to be any good way. I don't want to go through the hassle of buying a gun. Plus even though most suicides are by firearm the success rate is still not on hundred percent. A person can live for hours with a hole in their heads or the rest of their lives retarded, with half a face. No thanks. I cry when I think of how it will hurt my family and friends. I know it would be selfish and wrong. But I am suffering from a genetic defect. I CAN NOT stand to live like this and it will never be different for me. It is unbearable. I just can't anymore. I just can't. I've thought about this for a long time and I'm prepared to endure this physical pain so that my greater suffering will be ended.