So, where do I start? There seems like there is a lot to vent/express/open up about but its overwhelming so I am going to list the situations to my depression and see if that helps. No-one needs to respond as I feel I am doing this more for myself than anything else. I guess its time to face life. Bi-polar OCD Anxiety My father abused me in more than one way Raped My first serious BF abused me and turned out to be a pedophile Was hit by a drunk driver and couldn't walk for a long time my 1st husband left me because i wasn't woman enough to have a baby (eptopic) My stepfather called me chicken shit and pissed on me My second husband abused me, pdoc says i have Chronic Abused Spouse due to him i have been separated from my friends and family i have a low opinion of self my depression caused me to be demoted at work my soon to be ex husband tried to kill me i was held up at gunpoint as part of my job I watched a friend shoot themselves as part of a prank gone bad and i couldn't stop it Bullied through school paranoia Thats the list I am willing to admit at this point so now to get through it. I have to do this to get on with my life and stop wishing i was dead.