Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by BakerAct, Jan 9, 2009.

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  1. BakerAct

    BakerAct Guest

    ready to go, everything is set to go - got all i need and finally found a place. funny i don't feel anything, nothing, zip, nada, zero. i thought i'd feel relief that it's about to end but i don't. i just have to choose the time carefullly is all, but this time no one will find me. how stuipd that was. i look back and think about it and i did my best i couldn't do anymore than i did. i took every pill they gave me, went to every group, every hospital all for nothing. life took everything i loved every time i thought i was seeing the light something took it away again. i know some people make it to the end and get out but not everyone like i told the nurse the last time some people just can't be fixed and i guess i'm one.
  2. alle_vite

    alle_vite Well-Known Member

    Baker Act please stop before you do anything and have a chat with someone in chat, il jump into chat now if you will give me the chance to have a chat.

    please stay safe
  3. BakerAct

    BakerAct Guest

    yeah right tried chat earlier all they wanted to do was sing that helps tons - but i'm all ready when the time comes and it's okay really it is. not right now but soon and thanks i know you don't need to be blasted you're trying to be nice but my first time here and it rots
  4. HateMeToday

    HateMeToday Active Member

    Baker tell me why do you feel like this, maybe i can relate
  5. mystereo2099

    mystereo2099 Well-Known Member

    i read some where if you kill yourself you don't go to heaven. but I'm an atheist and i dun believe in that sorta thing.

    you still around man?
  6. rojomi

    rojomi Banned Member

    You can stop the Baker Act if you want-call a lawyer, a doctor, anyone. It's awful. i was voluntary and left after 48 hours-nurse jammed the smack in me and been a FUCKING mess ever since-don't DO IT.
  7. rojomi

    rojomi Banned Member

    where in FL?
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Please don't do this. Talk to us!
  9. rojomi

    rojomi Banned Member

    not Clearwater-don't go, I beg you.
  10. rojomi

    rojomi Banned Member

    The web page looks fabulous, and Joanne is just ever so nice-but they are MONSTERS!
  11. rojomi

    rojomi Banned Member

    :sad:guess you're gone, I am so sorry. They can't help you and nearly killed me.
  12. BakerAct

    BakerAct Guest

    indian river county, what difference does it make where i am i won't be here when the time comes. why do i feel this way, there's 1000 reasons.
  13. mystereo2099

    mystereo2099 Well-Known Member

    dude help me kill myself i don't have the courage. give me 1000 reasons :D

    i feel like i should come up with some cliche shit that's supposed to help -- hmm nothings coming.

    um, life is good, things will get better?

    seriously tho wait it out, this too will pass. life sucks and then you die, surely there's something you've been itching to do all your life that you haven't done. something you want to break, something you want to fuck, i dunno you so i couldn't say. do that one thing before you die, as a celebration of your time here on this planet before you go. one more burst of adrenaline, one more racing heartbeat and feelings of life flowing through you.

    damn i'm out of it, i shouldn't post when i'm high
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 10, 2009
  14. BakerAct

    BakerAct Guest

    man you know you can't do anything on the weekend here there're cops everywhere and fish&wildlife where there aren't cops place is crawling with them got to be cool till monday or they'll find you for sure duh then it'll be a real baker act and you know that drill three days in pump you full of drugs then cya and don't come back ya hear.
  15. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Hey there. You want to tell us some of those 1000 reasons? If we knew more of your situation maybe we could help. I googled Baker Act so I know about that. What's happening? Coming here shows you are looking for help and support which is a positive thing. Give us the chance to give you that. Hope you can talk about it. Know it's not easy sometimes but we're here to listen and help if we can. Stay safe.S.
  16. BakerAct

    BakerAct Guest

    life doesn't work for some and i'm one - either i whack it or it whacks me. nothing works out one way or another.
  17. levitated-one

    levitated-one Well-Known Member

    Lol, I like the way you put it, "whack" hehehe.. Yes, I cannot handle life too, it's such a pain. Maybe I'm too emotional, but either way, I don't fit in this world at all. I'm an outcast, but I look the same as everyone, until someone speaks to me, they know that I'm an outcast cause I'm kinda weird and too out of this world lol

    We can chat a bit more, and be friends for the moment, before we do something stupid okay?
  18. BakerAct

    BakerAct Guest

    only stupid if i survive but that is unlikely. i am an outcast too but it's more than that. much more.
  19. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Baker Act,
    I know you feel you are as low as you can go. Been there. I know the calm that comes over you when you think your ready to end it. I take it you are still young. Why throw it all away.
    There is help out there you just need to seek it out. Fine you don't want to be on meds, nothing wrong with that. Myself I have to be on them or I am a total mess. The one thing I do reccommend is to see a therapist. They can put everything back into perspective.
    I have been seeing mine for three years and she has helped me quite a bit. Sure the suicidal thoughts are still there and she told me they are so deep rooted that they will probably be there the rest of my life. The difference is she has taught me how to manage my life around them.
    Seeing a therapist is not an instant cure, it takes time and effort on your part. You have to be honest with them and tell them everything so they can work up a treatment plan for you. I had to go thru three of them before I found one I could bond with. She gets frustrated with me because I keep hanging on to those negative thoughts.
    My life isn't perfect by any means but I am not trying to harm myself anymore and that is a big step. Do me a favor find one and give it a year and then reevaluate your situation then. I hope you seek the help it doesn't have to end this way. There is alot to offer you out there. Take Care!!~Joseph~
  20. BakerAct

    BakerAct Guest

    far more than we can put here - done therapy meds hospital - got parts, pieces, scattered around. ok now bad in a minute not bipolar. yeah it's calm once the decision's made. don't need a plan always have one, or two, if #1 doesn't work #2 will. no prob. keep screwing things up. at home at work at school. nothing is safe. no one says you're a liar but they think so. not lying just don't know. put on a good show most of the time but it falls apart sooner or later. not young put some parts are. sick to death of it all. not the original but it doesn't matter. had many therapists few get it, some, most don't catch it some don't believe it. many think it is borderline. if we were young it might be different but we are almost old life, the years are dwindling and soon we will be senior everything and have never reached any potential but that is not a whine, the whine is not being able to keep anything straight and worse the pain. and waking thinking that death would be preferable to living as a greeting to the day. i will allow it to happen this time.
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