Real Me

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by GreyCat, May 4, 2011.

  1. GreyCat

    GreyCat Well-Known Member

    Sometimes my real self breaks through the drugs and then I feel like shit and have to say it.

    I don't worry anymore. I haven't worried for months, apart from when I forget to take my pills for a day and then I start to slip into the abyss. It's an incentive to remember.

    But I know it's just putting off the inevitable. I am essentially blocking out myself. I am so unhappy and I just can't feel it because medication switches it off. Then I think I'm ok and I might get better until a surge of rage comes from nowhere and I can't hear anything or understand anything else. It would be ok if I could contain it but when I get angry it fills the room. This is second only to what happens if real me makes it to the surface when I'm alone- then I want to tear out my own heart to make this pain stop.

    I don't fit in the world. I feel like shit today.
  2. tweetypie

    tweetypie Antiquities Friend

    i hear you ..i cant make it go but i can stay with you while it passes...
    much love sarah
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi hun are you taking some therapy with your meds it help to deal with that pain and anger it finds the root of it and helps you to cope and to lessen it okay
    meds keep you somewhat stable but therapy with meds help even more hugs