Real Medical Help?

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by klodo, Feb 22, 2008.

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  1. klodo

    klodo Well-Known Member

    Is there really any chance of proper medical help in the UK or would I just be filled with drugs(if I was lucky). Since my redundancy I cant see any way out apart from death now. I would like to live sometimes though,its just that I cant see any solution to my problems now and I have f**ked up my life too much.I still like spring and seeing new life,I like to walk in the countryside.I still even like Christmas and all the atmosphere.There are other things at times even for a loner like me with no family.

    You see once you've been unemployed for years no one want to hire you so the shame and humiliation increases yet almost every paper I see talks about the unemployed like they are all lazy bone idle scum watching TV all day making me feel even more guilty.I have never even claimed any benefit as I could not face the shame and have been living off my life savings which diminish every day.When they get to zero I think that's the end.

    I used to walk a lot to clear my head. Now I can barely leave the house.I drink every night,take painkillers(used to take them daily for joint pain and never stopped)and have this large heavy book which I sometimes in moments of despair late at night bang against my head until I almost pass out.

    I saw that suicide film about the golden gate bridge last week. I cant get it out of my head watching that long haired guy walk up and down and trying to find the courage to jump.I went to some cliffs a few weeks ago but my fear of heights was too much to even get near.It was incredibly sad but the worst thing was the thought that many of them probably would not even be noticed.
  2. Dreamer uk

    Dreamer uk Well-Known Member

    The only help you can get really is cognitive behaviour therapy, counselling, and medication like anti-depressants and maybe anti-pyschotics.

    You should really claim what you are entitled though, but I'm not the best person to be giving advice because I've done the same as you and not claimed what I'm entitled to either. It is just so much hassel and I don't get any help with housing costs so it seemed futile.

    After I was made redundant I have just about been getting by with a few temporary jobs but now things are even worse, I have almost no money and I've lost my car. I don't really have enough time to sell my house and it will probably be reposessed and I'm probably gonna end up losing about 20 grand. My house has been burgled twice, last time I was still in it and I woke up to find somebody downstairs in my house, I chased them but never caught them.

    I can't even help myself most of the time, I struggle to get out of bed, just want to sleep all day. I have social anxiety and hate job interviews, I had a couple recently and I never attended them.

    I still have a miniscule chance of saving this situation but knowing my procrastinating self I'll probably just fuck it up like I do everything else and end up homeless on the street.

    The antidepressants are helping with my depression but they don't change the situation I'm faced with.

    I don't want to die, it's just that I find it difficult to live this lonely life anymore under financial duress. The main thing that stops me is that I don't want to hurt my mom, she gave me life, it is not her fault I'm the way I am and she doesn't deserve to suffer. I've cut off most contact with people so when I finally have to escape it will be less pain for them to bare.

    I'm quite naturally talented, but alas I'm just a loser in this life.

    I hope you get the help you seek.

    Take care
  3. Advent

    Advent Well-Known Member

    Hi there, you dont say where abouts you are in the uk, but i was in the same position as yourself, until i saw the hosp. They put me in touch with a local advocacy centre who sorted all the paperwork out as far as benifits are concerned. I now get IB, DLA and IS. Failing that your local CAB shoud be albe to help.

    Speaking personally i found CBT no help at all, i know lots of folks do get help this way - but i had a really young bloke who really didnt have the first clue how to help me ( he had only just quailified i think).

    I havent worked for 5 years now, having left my old job thru stress, again i feel awkward about any future interviews but i DO want to go back to work one day.I guess we all get the suicide thought thing from time to time, i too think myself thru what i would do, BUT its not about me, its about the folks YOU leave behind - i just could not put them through that just for my peace..

    LISTEN, you have worked all your life for moments like this, its NOT shame to put in a CLAIM - you have payed into the system, now its your turn to claim some back when you most need it........God know the government waste enough of our money already get your share before they waste any more.

    Anyway will sign off for now, if ya want a chat about it , visit your irc channel.

    Speak soon

  4. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    hi klodo, isn't it worth trying to see what help and support you might get? i'm getting lots of supports from the outpatient program at the hospital nearest me. i was sceptical, esp about taking drugs, but after 5 weeks on meds my mood has def. lifted a bit. i still have bad days, but i can start to untangle some of the issues that brought me down. anyways, you'll read lots of horror stories about doctors and such, but my experience has been okay so far. you may be surprised.

    markUK- when you wrote "I don't want to die, it's just that I find it difficult to live this lonely life" you pretty much summed up my life right now. thing is, i still have a tiny bit of hope that i will be able to overcome the loneliness. not givin up yet,

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