Before I start I want to see I have seen a professional, and waiting for an appointments to arrange CBT.
I'm not going into the ins and outs, the point is I've been through a lot recently and reflected a lot. To come to the conclusion that the only thing that resonates with the way I feel is BPD. Researching and reading into it over this time has answered questions about myself I've had my whole life. It brought a sense of relief I've never felt. I always thought my behaviour stemmed from childhood issues, and I guess it does. I have repressed so much if it, and as I get older I remember less and less.
Suicidal thoughts and depression is a way of life, and those blissful odd days I get where I'm not being attacked by my emotions is what I live for, but them days rarely existed and now do not.
I don't know what the point of this post is? Maybe someone has some advice on where I go with this... I feel a strange optimism deep inside but I am so angry when around other people. Everything is so conflicted but strangely makes sense.
I'm not going into the ins and outs, the point is I've been through a lot recently and reflected a lot. To come to the conclusion that the only thing that resonates with the way I feel is BPD. Researching and reading into it over this time has answered questions about myself I've had my whole life. It brought a sense of relief I've never felt. I always thought my behaviour stemmed from childhood issues, and I guess it does. I have repressed so much if it, and as I get older I remember less and less.
Suicidal thoughts and depression is a way of life, and those blissful odd days I get where I'm not being attacked by my emotions is what I live for, but them days rarely existed and now do not.
I don't know what the point of this post is? Maybe someone has some advice on where I go with this... I feel a strange optimism deep inside but I am so angry when around other people. Everything is so conflicted but strangely makes sense.
