reality hits

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lost_child, Nov 28, 2007.

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  1. lost_child

    lost_child Well-Known Member

    I'm not sure which forum is the right one for this. Sorry if its in the wrong place.

    Sunday Night I decided to break all communication with everyone I know, I've ignored my mobile phone, the house phone hasn't rung so I've proven that my death wouldn't effect anyone. I watched a program on the effect suicidal leaves on parents, family, friends...one women still mourns her sons suicidal after 22 years, she keeps he's letters, she still has he clothes..something that was said, was that he wrote a suicidal note and didn't reach out to any of he's family therefor he wanted to die, he made a choice to die and the mother has to make a choice to live her life, she still has memories and nothing will take those away.

    That got me thinking, I've already done letters I don't want their lives stop to because my life has stopped and ended. I've proven that for days I can disappear in a world without any human contact (in "real time"). I knew my life wasn't worth anything, and this has proven just how much worth I have in the world. I'm just a nothing. I'm a no one in noone life.

    Can I just say thank you to thoughs that I have helped me, I won't go into names but hopefully you know who you are. Everyday I tried to find something to say life really is worth living for, but there's nothing.

    goodbye all. take care of yourselves and each other.

    Lost xxxxx (never to be found)
     
  2. Yana

    Yana Active Member

    Hi, I'm feeling similar things so I dont know that I can offer much in the way of useful comments. But I'm here and I've heard what you are saying if that means anything. I dont get any calls either. But I realise that that is because I dont make any. When I do reach out people are often there. I think we isolate ourselves and then use it to persuade ourselves that no one cares and that we are not important. Then we can legitimately self destruct. Truth is noone will be contacted unless they show they want to be. In a sense we get what we put out. People may think you just want time alone or think better of phoning if they have learnt you wont answer. It doesnt mean people dont care for you. They just dont know how much you are suffering because you cant tell them. And maybe the people who care the most just havent entered your life yet. So tell people here how you feel and maybe that will help you hang on if that is what a part of you wants to do.
     
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Sorry you feel that you are a no one in "real time" but you are a some one here at SF. Look at all the posts and threads you've made. You've made a difference to people here and that really is something to give yourself a pat on the back for! The members are needing others that are strong to reach out to and you have done that over and over again. Believe me, I would and so many others would miss you here. Letter or no letter. Could you please take a moment and reach out to me now? Maybe together we could find a way to help you feel like a somebody in the real time too. It would be such a waste of a wonderful, caring, strong and sharing person such as yourself. I understand that you have your choices to make. But would you consider the one I am offering too? Please pm me. We've only just started talking, and I'd like the chance to get to know you a little more. You've helped me already by letting me post at your threads. Give me the opportunity to do the same for you. Your pain is so strong and you must feel so alone to be able to shut out everyone on the outside. Well, I've said my piece. I hope you can stay safe and hold on for at least a little longer.
     
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