Realizations suck. I've come to realize that I push people away. I don't trust anyone. And anytime someone gets too close, I push them away, or do something very ridiculous. Anytime I think that someone cares about me, I push them away. It's a wonder that anyone talks to me still. There are those people who refuse to be pushed away, and I wonder why they don't just let me push them away. I hate myself, why shouldn't others hate me too? Why waste time on someone when you care more about them than they do themselves? Ugh.