Realizations

[Bigman2232]

I've been having a few realizations lately and I guess I'll start this thread to get them out in the air and I'll update it as I make new ones (I hope).

Ok, the first one is that girls seem to only get physical or affectionate with me when they are drunk, emotional or both. And by physical I mean, just actually touching me.

What brought me to this realization is a week ago a female friend received some upsetting emails and proceeded to get drunk. She invited a few people over to have some drinks with her. I go over and rather quickly she starts sitting on my lap and giving me hugs, wanting to dance and even gave me a kiss on the cheek, twice. Now she has a new bf and I'm not going to take advantage of a drunk/emotional even if she didn't have a bf, so nothing happened, but it brought up the fact that, although they don't cringe at me being around, girls only seem to initiate physical contact if they are under the influence.

It was the same with another female friend when just the two of us went out to the bars and got drunk. She started hugging me, dancing with me and just making contact with me all night.

It's not like I'm complaining about the contact. Far from it. I feel so pathetic but to a guy who has never even been on a date, a kiss on the cheek from an attractive girl is a lotto win in life. I just hate that it takes being hammered for them to see me as a guy worth flirting with.

 

[Bigman2232]

A new realization.

I should never be around new couples who are exspessing their feelings for one another.

I know why they do the things they do and I would do the same thing if a miracle happened and I got a relationship. But it's not a good thing if I'm around them, and watching them cuddle and kiss and just express how much they feel for one another.

I know that I will never get to experience this and I only stay around so not to disrupt the few people that I'm a part of their lives.

 

[Bigman2232]

My sister and I are a perfect example of how the world works.

Me, highly intelligent, but socially awkward for most of my life, not attractive, overweight.

My sister, not dumb but always struggled in school and not exactly the brightest person you'll meet, social butterfly, and pretty.

Me, almost 24, stuck in school that I no longer enjoy and can't do well at anymore. In debt by like 40 thousand. No idea what I want or even can do for a job. As of Nov 1st, have no home to go back to once school is done. Never been on a date and of course, suicidal.

Her, almost 20, Has a career as a hair dresser and esthetician , has a steady income, just signed a deal for a 3 bedroom condo worth 83000, has a bf of a couple years who is moving in with her and is overall, happy.

It just seems like everything works for her because she cared only about herself and not only were things easier for her because she has the looks and charm, she made a career out of the world's vanity.

While I crash and burn, completely failing at the role of supporting my family.

 

[rootedphoenix]

:hug: I'm not sure what to say, but I do wish things were different for you.

 

[Bigman2232]

I like bleeding and I like pain.

It's not a sexual thing like being sadistic, but I like punishing myself for the stupid thoughts I think and for being the loser I am.

 

[Bigman2232]

I'll never be happy in this world. Too much of it is left up to pure luck and chance and I don't have any.

I constantly get fucked over, even when I make the right decisions and choices.

So I just get to watch the lucky live a happy life while no matter how much I try, I still fail. So why bother?

 

[Bigman2232]

If I was attractive I wouldn't be alone. More and more evidence is given to me every day that if I was not overweight and instead, was attractive, I'd have very little trouble getting a date or having a girlfriend.

I've heard it all. You're funny, caring, romantic, polite, have a great personality, wish more guys were like you and of course, any girl would be lucky to have you. But yet I remain undateable and alone.

So either they all lie to me or it really is because I'm so ugly. I'm good for talking to, good for providing protection, good for proving that someone cares for you, good for being there to do what needs to be done, but I'm not good for being in a relationship.

I'm just so tired and so very lonely.

 

[Alexpt2]

Hey dude, are you sure that your looks are the reason you are single? Reason I ask this question is that whenever I'm out I am always seeing men that i'd consider to be "less than attractive" arm and arm with beautiful women. I always wonder to myself, how did HE land her.

If what you said in your last post is true, then I'm your opposite in many ways. I'm a decent looking guy(or so i've been told) however I'm a cold, bitter, self absorbed prick with a huge chip on my shoulder. At least you have girls in your life that like spending time with you and consider you a friend. Woman can't even stand to be in my pressance for very long, let alone befriend me. I'd trade with ya, take your looks and give you my personality, though I'm certain you wouldn't fair any better in the relationship department.

All I'm sayin is that looks aint everything as far as getting a girl goes. I think men tend to over estimate how important looks are to girls.

 

[Mightbehere]

hmm well maybe stop being friends with these girls if they are hurting/ using you. I don't know.

 

[Oak]

I agree with something said by Alex. Men tend to give more importance to physical features of women where as women look for qualities in a man.

Maybe find a way to show what value women so they will stop and give you time and consideration. That's a starter hun

Things will improve dear, not all get the 'big deal' of finding the right woman at the same age. Got to be patient and not take the first one coming along just for the sake of not being alone as you'd suffer.

I found my mate late in life and have no regret for waiting to find mr right. My patience has been rewarded.

Good luck hun and stay well
granny xx

 

[Bigman2232]

hmm well maybe stop being friends with these girls if they are hurting/ using you. I don't know.

Well they aren't using me and the hurt I feel is not something they intentionally do. I know they say the things they do to help me and to help me with confidence but I can only be told the same things by so many different girls before you start to give up.

I agree with something said by Alex. Men tend to give more importance to physical features of women where as women look for qualities in a man.

Maybe find a way to show what value women so they will stop and give you time and consideration. That's a starter hun

Things will improve dear, not all get the 'big deal' of finding the right woman at the same age. Got to be patient and not take the first one coming along just for the sake of not being alone as you'd suffer.

I know that looks aren't everything but they do matter. Especially when there are guys that have both looks and personality.

I have shown them what I have and they hang out with me because of it. They just don't show the interest to be more than friends. I know they see the value because I hear, I wish other guys were like you, all the time. I've even taught other guys how to be romantic and how to be more like me because I knew I had no chance, so someone should get usefulness out of my skills.

And the thing is I'm not looking for the perfect girl or the person to spend the rest of my life with. I'll be 24 in two months and I have yet to even go on a date, yet alone any other experiences. I just want to have some kind of experience.

It's getting harder everyday because I'm having to deal with girls that already have experience in life and I'm a nervous wreck. I've been put in the friends zone so often I don't even know what an interested girl would look like. I thought there was one at a party on friday but now I just think I was imagining things. :censored::bash:

Thanks for the replies

 

[Bigman2232]

Life is not going to get better because I fail at life. I miss opportunities that I know are there but second guess myself into missing them. I feel like I know how to do some things but I have no clue on others and it is those others that I want so badly. I wish someone had taught me. Now it is too late and I just keep making myself fail.