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Really bad day

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by theoriginallady, Jan 19, 2011.

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  1. theoriginallady

    theoriginallady New Member

    My boyfriend of 3 years left 6 days ago, I just found out hes moved in with a woman he knows on his facebook, which he has blocked me from seeing now. I have severe anxiety and lost my job a while ago and lost my medical as well. I haven't had any anxiety meds or seen a therapist for almost a year. I'm having so many emotions I can't keep track. He left his dog and 2 cats here as well, and from what I hear he is not returning for them. I have 2 dogs and 4 cats of my own. I'm overwhelmed , depressed, sad, feel betrayed constant crying... Lonely. And I don't have anyone I feel safe sharing my feelings with. Can you guys please just tell me everything will work out in the end. Keep hope?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi you I think for sure it will be okay Can you phone humane society and get them to come pick up his animals let them know he has abandoned them. I think also get a hold of your gp okay He can prescribe you some medication to help with the depression. You can get through this okay with help you can. Can you call help line in your community and see what is available for support for you. If you are overwhelmed get someone to come take the animals and you go into hospital for awhile to get stable okay. He is an uncaring ass and you don't need him okay you can stand strong on your own many women do.
    Call crisis line and see what connections they can offer youfor help in your area hugs to you lots of them okay stay here talk we will help you okay get through this rough time but it will end okay you will be okay:hugtackles::hugtackles::hugtackles:
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    all good advice from total....
    you can do this on your own...show him what an ass he is and that you don't need him..:hug:
  4. peacelovingguy

    peacelovingguy Well-Known Member

    Don't put yourself down for falling for a loser. Bear in mind many men will have done the same thing also and had the indignity of being 'dumped'.

    Trouble is we do not KNOW what people are like until we know them for a few years. You may be lucky and live in a small community in which you can always find out about a suitor. In the modern age this is not happening so much and people often move in after a whirlwind romance.

    Obviously right now you need help in a few things other than romance which should be way down the list for the next few months till you get sorted out.

    His pets - you can maybe get them to some shelter. I'd have left them at his home but maybe your not like that.

    Get any of those cats neutered if you can. You do not want more.

    You need some education course or other, after you get some help with the issues you have. The loser who left you, had he been a man, might have helped from the start with those. I wonder if he dumped problems on you as if you were a free counselling service for assholes?

    Also, maybe leave Facebook alone for a while. I don't use Facebook, never set up a profile because maybe the past is best left to chance encounters and not some bloody search function!

    I mean it about the education courses, or maybe voluntary work which can be done without affecting any benefits you may get. This might help you in your anxiety and give you a goal that makes you feel better about yourself.

    Very best of luck to you. I'm sure you can use this opportunity to cope with the anxiety and deal with the practical issues also.

    Have you no family you can talk to?

    If not share your feeling here as were all brothers and sisters in a sense at least. A stranger would jump in a lake to rescue another stranger. Most of the time they would. We have a connection towards others and empathy.

    Hope you find a nice man one day and I'm sure there are plenty of eligible men in your part of the world. Concentrate on yourself for a while - the few practical things you have to deal with are a mountain to climb when lumped together, but its like a sink full of dirty dishes - one by one, bit by bit - think of it as a series of single problems not some mountain five times the size of Everest and covered in slippery moss, ice and oil.

    Have a Spring clean also - clear up the evidence of Mr Loser.

    Nothing worse than a man who has not got the courage and decency to tell a women he does not love her any-more. It is cowardice.

    Good luck!
  5. theoriginallady

    theoriginallady New Member

    Very good advice. I do talk with my mother about it, but she is having some health issues and a stroke or heart attack is stress inducing so I try not to call her if I can. I did reach out to a couple of friends and that helped then but not so now. It angers me that he says he needs a couple of months to work out the pet situation. He keeps messaging me that he misses the animal and the farm, but makes no mention of me or "us". It is evident to me that he is selfish and cares only about himself. I don't want someone like that as my partner only as my enemy. However knowing he is wrong and horrible for me doesn't take away the fact that I dearly loved him. This entire house has his mark all over it. I suppose I should do a spring cleaning and toss his new fishing and boating magazine that just arrived. Everywhere I turn I see him. He liked to paint things and all over the house are little paintings. Today just seems to be unbearable.
  6. Ravenwing

    Ravenwing Well-Known Member

    You've been given some very good advice here. As someone who has experienced what you have been through, as have many others on here... you will come though it. Just give it time and be kind to yourself. :hug:
  7. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    Put all his stuff in the bin!!! Clear him right out of your life x
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