Really bad night tonight

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by FaintOfHearts, Jul 14, 2011.

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  1. FaintOfHearts

    FaintOfHearts Active Member

    I got dressed up to go to a restaurant opening. I wore a skirt which I never wear. The dinner was fine and I got to see my co workers which was fine but I had to go to another restaurant after. The moment I walked in everyone started saying how pretty I looked and how they want to sleep with me. One of them started feeling me up and getting too close aednd I made him stop but I feel like its my fault in the first place. If I had just worn pants I wouldn't get that attention but I wanted to do something special for a friend. When I told a friend what happened she pretty much said to ignore it. Well I wish I could. Everything else after that was a failure. I wanted to go for a drive after I got home but I dodnt know where any open gas stations where, got glass in my foot and left my id inside all after spending close to 2 hrs crying in my room about how Im not going to be able to function in this world. If I cant handle a "normal night out" then I doubt Ill be able to handle the rest of life.
  2. m489332

    m489332 Member

    You sound like you need a hug <hugs>

    It is too bad that that guy was a little too forward with you, it was not your fault. What he did was an unwanted advance and inappropriate. I believe there are laws against that kind of behaviour. If this happens all the time, you might have to look at maybe adjusting your behavior to fix whatever signals these creeps are getting from you (might be easier than locking up all the creeps).

    The glass in your foot and forgetting your ID were just accidents - you were understandably upset and not paying attention. I always seem to break things and injure myself when I am upset or angry.

    We all have a tough time at some point functioning in this world. It takes a lot of trial and error, and it is hard to always feel like we can handle all the situations life throws at us.

    Is there more you need to get out?
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 14, 2011
  3. FaintOfHearts

    FaintOfHearts Active Member

    This was my first time wearing a skirt of my own volition and the guy was drunk. It was also the first tie anything like that has happened to me (im 22). I dont party or drink so it was just a huge shock. Right now Im suppose to email this guy tomorrow about an internship but I barely want to look at his card let alone talk to him again. I know Im overreacting but it was just really weird and uncomfortable. The fact that I cant get over it makes me worry about my future.
  4. Butterfly

    Butterfly Resident SF Sims Enthusiast Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Its not your fault hun you need to know that!!!! Sometimes nights out dont go as we want them to be. Dont let it make you feel like you cant handle life or put you off going for a night out. A lot of men are idiots when drunk and the more you go out the more you will realise this. I always manage ro injure myself on a night out like fall over sometimes I just have random bruises. Its just an accident. As for losing your license I dont know many young people who have been on a night out who hasnt lost something. Its an accident and it happens. Dont let this off put you hun. Hope you sleep well and have a better day tomorrow.
  5. m489332

    m489332 Member

    Okay, it was new to you being assaulted that way but felt pretty awful to you. It wasn't anything you did.

    The shock will wear off after a while. Do you have something positive to occupy your mind with? A good friend or relative you can talk to? A pet? I like to do something productive that takes concentration away from being shocked about something that upset me.

    So you are supposed to discuss a possible internship with this same guy who did that to you?

    Why do you worry about your future? If this was the first time being assaulted like that, its pretty normal to be upset.
  6. FaintOfHearts

    FaintOfHearts Active Member

    I called a friend earlier but his phone was off so I left a message and my dog is sleeping. Right now Im just listening to music.
    Yea, the guy is a regular at the restaurant I'm working at. He wants to see me as some big ambassador aid or super important person X, something I am beyond terrified of becoming. I cant say no to his help cause Id sound like an ass with no ambition. Im hoping some sleep will change my mind cause I really dont want to talk to him tomorrow.
  7. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    It was not your fault! You could have been wearing a burkah and he would have tried it on! That is the harsh reality - get angry about it! Contact women's groups to understand how pervasive male sexual violence is.
    It sounds like it was a very intense night and maybe you need to take time today to relax.
  8. m489332

    m489332 Member

    Hmm, thats a pickle. So, he is an important person who likes to help himself to women (whether they like or not) when drunk, and you need his help getting a job.

    Gut says run from this guy, or you will have to get used to being groped every time you are around him when he is drunk. Gut also says you need to improve your lot.

    Don't start thinking like you can only get anywhere in life with his help, you are willingly giving power to him he doesn't deserve and hasn't earned. Ambition comes from within, he cannot give that to you.

    Are you unhappy with your job and want to do something else with your life, but don't know how or what to do?
  9. FaintOfHearts

    FaintOfHearts Active Member

    Well the restaurant gig was always temporary, im quitting at the end of the month. Im in college for criminal law/forensics but haven't found any jobs/internships close to home. Funny thing is I never asked him for help cause I didnt want it but he said he's always been waiting for me to ask or rather he was waiting for my friend to open her big mouth and say i need a new job.
  10. m489332

    m489332 Member

    Re: job, could be the economy, keep looking.

    It seems to me that you are really struggling inside with your mind that says you really need this job and this guy's help to get a job, but your heart is telling you what my gut is telling me about this situation -- that this guy is bad news (because of what he did).

    And that is why you are so upset, you aren't sure what to do.

    Don't be sad. I had a job working for a company I really liked, and I was good at it, I was making good money and I went that extra mile... Then I got a new boss, who was manipulative and had some serious crazy. I lasted about 1 year and had to quit. I'm not even doing that same career anymore.

    I guess what I am trying to say is, if you have to work for this creepy guy (and you know now what is on his mind) it probably will make you miserable.

    I know I could not work for someone who assaulted me.
  11. FaintOfHearts

    FaintOfHearts Active Member

    I wont be working for him luckily, Ill be working for his friend but that means seeing him more and feeling grateful he gave me a handout. Ill figure something out. Thanks for talking with me and the advice, im about to go to bed.
  12. m489332

    m489332 Member

    I felt I wanted to say something else:

    If this particular opportunity doesn't work out, its okay. There will be many jobs, just make sure you can work with (and around) the people you have to work with. If you can't it will make for unhappiness.

    Good luck, I know you will find the right job for you.
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