Really bad today

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by starryeyed, Jul 9, 2012.

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  1. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    Ithas gotten to the stage where nobody at all talks to me. I can't keep going on like this, i am a beautiful young woman and I am living like a spinster.
    I don't even think i will get through the night like this. My family want me to kill myself so they can get to my money.
  2. fahran

    fahran New Member

    i,m only new here but i know just how u feel.... i just found out that the ppl i thought accepted me as a family member dont even see me as " a blood relative" the fact that i look after their father doesnt mean anything to them... just because i finally met the woman of my dreams and want to start a life with her.... they are destroying it all... but i wont let them x
  3. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    I think I'm high or something, feel terrible. frightened of the truth
  4. yep

    yep Well-Known Member

    I am glad you recognize you are beautiful. Whatever is botering you remember, you are not alone no matter what other say you are not alone..
  5. WldHair

    WldHair Well-Known Member

    Hello Starry,

    Unfortunately, people don't believe that beautiful people can have the most horrible feelings. And if you live in big cities like Los Angeles and New York and so on, it can make you feel even worse, especially when most dweebs are walking around with their heads buried in their phones, something I refuse to do. Like you, I like when people notice you, speak to you, have a conversation. There are days I walk around thinking that if I make a connection with a new friend and we have beautiful conversation and I come away feeling inspired and maybe I inspired them, and maybe I learned something. Ha! I can count those moments on one hand. If you dare tell people how you're feeling, they start spouting off all the positivity crap, when they don't have the slightest idea as to what's depressing you.

    It sounds like you need to get far far away from your family, especially if you have some money and they don't. Family can be the greediest bunch of evilites even moreso than strangers.

    Hang in there.
  6. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    I don't live in a big city I see loads of people I know but they ignore me. My family have robbed my money and I will have to take them to court to get it back. I myself am seriously ill and can't work and have little money. people have ripped me off all my life cos of my father being gentry but I never had access to the money.
    I have been abused by everybody who has ver come across me and I am very damaged. I want them to go to prison for this. They left me outside in the rain when i was only 2/3 and I nearly died. They tied me upside down and broke my leg and it had to be rebroken and I had to learn how to walk again. There are no words for what they did to me. They tried to poison me too.
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi starryeyed, you've been though a hell of a lot, but I'm glad you recognise that you are a beautiful young woman. I think you really need to talk to a counsellor about what's happened to you, you need professional assistance. We'll be here as peer to peer support but I get the feeling that you need more than that. would you be willing to engage in that?
  8. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    I am seeing a counsellor. I have tried everything to fit in with people but nobody wants me around. I face every day alone and it is not fair as I have done nothing wrong. There is land and money belonged to me and I can't get at it but I am not worried about money, I just want a normal life. Everybody calls me a dog and I am supposed to just take it day after day. I am a living joke to people cos I am always alone and a target for bullies. Nobody would care if I were dead or alive and that is what they want me to think. When i asked them to get out of my house before they locked me up in an institution. I own both their houses and I was homeless myself and they wouldn't even put me up.
    My family can't even pretend to like me they hate me and used to beat me and torture me for years. All I ever did was be born, I never asked anybody for anything my whole life. If i ring someone or text someone then people say i am annoying that person. i am laone and I can't go on like this anymore. I did really well in my exams and nobdy seemed to give a damn. This is a thing tehy are doing to make me kill myself. I even have people come up and say when is your funeral.
    I can't go to the shop everybody avoids me, and put their head down but they watch what I buy. I am close to killing these ****s who ruined my life but I would rather see them go to prison.
  9. sadguy33

    sadguy33 Banned Member

    It really makes me depressed when a beautiful girl kills herself. I mean usually a pretty girl is all conceded and stuff. However it seems that not only are you pretty but you are down to earth maybe a little to down to earth. You got to realise you have a lot going for you and if every pretty girl with a good heart kills herself then we are stuck with these conceded ahole type girls that I hate. So please don't kill yourself the earth needs you.
  10. starryeyed

    starryeyed Well-Known Member

    I am not conceited cos I have badly abused all my life and nobdy has ever been nice to me. I am getting legal advice and getting waht i deserve. I will kick the shite out of the next person I hear calling me a dog.
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