really confused

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by ACRon, Nov 22, 2008.

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  1. ACRon

    ACRon Well-Known Member

    i post here, in this section i dont know why. anyway

    im confused, i have no idea what i'm looking for, or why i bother thinking about it. Im coming to the end of something, i have nobody to tune into, and when someone offers some help i shy away. its like im searching for the root cause of something. the root cause of what makes me tick or something. to many this might seem like a notion of failure and dredge up memories of friction, for that i am sorry.

    In my mind I'm focussing on the pain, but when i lose focus of it i swell up really badly and get lost in frusratration of why it went wrong. i sense that i keep hiding from it when it happens, as if greatness and perfection passes me by. i just don't know who to talk to, im not looking for someone to trust, just someone to get satisfaction and purpose from.

    I keep thinking of people who first caused me to search, but i don't want to bother those people who spring to mind when i am seeking, its like it would be rude to go back to them, so amidst all this failure thats sweeping through me, i'm sure there is something in it that can make me aware of why i do this. I'm not socially capable, because as i say i've always shyed away from intimacy. Im confused and searching, if anyone can help me or understands please pm me

    thanks for reading
     
  2. Oak

    Oak Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Sounds way to familiar. You find a clue so you investigate on it to find out that you've lost your way and never get back at the beginning but a different point in time. What has happend during your search is beyond understanding and again you look for a clue, a sign or something to focus onto to again loose your path. I compare my search to a cartoon from waltz disney where a couple of kids were abandoned in the country side as the parents couldnt feed them anymore and one of the kids was using bread crumbs as a mean to find its way back home but the birds were eating them so they got lost.

    I dont have answers for you dear but I understand your post and can identify to it.

    May we find out way back ................ lots of love your way
    granny
     
  3. ToHelp

    ToHelp Well-Known Member

    ^ I guess it starts about right there. Acron I have no idea when you're talking about.

    You say, "i have no idea what i'm looking for, or why i bother thinking about it." Instantly I'm lost. "Thinking about" WHAT?

    Also it's as if you don't know why you come here, so you're asking me to know and tell you. Not making fun of you--it's just one of the bizarrest, most confounding posts I've come along.

    JOHN
     
  4. ACRon

    ACRon Well-Known Member

    its being attentive, without bieng destructive, standing up, no matter how hard the oceans try to pull me down. floating on the edge of reason, losing sanity, finding peace in the deep blue sea, but just bieng pissed off that they broke my balance, and regaining that ability, to save a future. whilst all the time wondering what would of been.
     
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