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Really don't want to live anymore

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by rainchild, Aug 1, 2014.

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  1. rainchild

    rainchild Active Member

    I really don't see any point in living and I am getting closer and closer to terminating my existence. I just can't stand it anymore and I really don't see any light, meaning, or even a millimeter of hope to hang on to. Everything looks bleak and nothing seems right or makes sense....Nothing matters and it is just painful and irritating trying to stay alive.:snow:
    It's gotten really bad so I think I may be in danger...
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi Rainchild,

    Do not feel like this as their is a point in living. Please do not anything as you would be missed. Whatever you feel , I hope you DO NOT DO anything. It's not nice to a person down and you need support. You just keep posting as it took courage to start the thread. Please take care and remember you are not alone in suffering.
  3. rubyshelly

    rubyshelly Member

    im sorry your feeling so bad hun, i hope you get to feel better soon.i understand,as im feeling the same atm.
  4. rainchild

    rainchild Active Member

    (to incrisis99)
    I'll try not to...and I see what you are saying. But I just don't see anything in life at all, even if others are suffering it isn't the same and honestly...what does that really do? It sucks and no one should feel down but...It just isn't working or doing anything. And that's even more of a reason to see nothing making sense...the world is just so messed up and weird and the fact I am living a human life or any life in general is a distorted, maddening experience of torture in my head...like I see nothing at all like anyone else and nothing makes sense in this life to me...and there is nothing to even hold on to either...
  5. rainchild

    rainchild Active Member

    Thank you very much. But I have no idea if I will get better, as I have been dealing with these feelings since birth...even as a child I didn't want to live...:-(
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hey,was there any reason as a child that you felt you did not want to live? :hug:
  7. rainchild

    rainchild Active Member

    Thanks for the hug. :cupcake:
    The reason is very complicated...I just new since I was little that life was a painful, scary experience, especially by observing it and just sensing it...nothing directly happened to me but I just new something wasn't right with the world growing up...nor did I feel like I ever belonged...and well, in general...I had those feelings of just not wanting to live deep down inside me and I never got to really confront them myself because my mom was very protective and no one understood...but for the most part those feelings were always there...
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I'm sorry to hear that. Having an over protective parent can certainly cause issues for the future in terms of being unable to cope with the ''real world'' But I totally get where you are coming from. The world even as an adult is a scary place so I can't imagine how that would feel as a child, :hug:
  9. rainchild

    rainchild Active Member

    Aww thanks. But that is exactly my point. Why live in such a sick world, when I already have these feelings of not only being suicidal, but feeling so disgusted, fearful, angry and just out of place with the whole world around me...not even a single point or thing makes sense in it. So I think all these feelings and experiences are adding up to one thing...leave this life for good.
  10. arien416

    arien416 New Member

    why not
    1. if you have family or someone who love you they will suffer
    2. if you have bad feelings ,sefl-piti and sitting on chair si not help you, you need to find something what you like ( mean hobby) go out or buy a dog ( how many are alone in anymal asilium) or play minecraft anything what keep you concentred and try to go out on disco maybe and find some friends
    this helps me a very lot so i hope its help you...
  11. rainchild

    rainchild Active Member

    Actually my family members are not compossed of very loving people and would not matter in the overall scheme of things or my life as they make it worse and I never want to understand them. (They are full of negativity, and no, I will not "make-up" with them or try any other methods similar to this, as it is emotionally draining and makes my mental health even more unstable. The best solution would be to get away from them, which I unfortunately can't because I'm trapped going to school and depending on them by being forced to go to school as well.)
    I can't get a dog or pets because I am stuck in this house and college, I have no drive to do anything whatsoever and I absolutely dislike socializing due to my social phobia and anxiety...and lack of trust and belief in this world or others.
    I'm very glad to hear that it helps you, but you must remeber that we are all individuals and unique and what could help one person may not help someone else...but thank you for the advice though.

    Agh, I honestly think that I was engineered to experience way too much pain at every second and for just being alive...beyond logic...Jeez am I really a one way train to self destruction? I mean, was I just built to die and hear no logic or beautiful meanings in life, however small? I can't even take advice either!

    So I guess there is no hope after all...:blue::rain:
  12. rainchild

    rainchild Active Member

    See..exactly! It's the beginning of the end. I can feel it...I can feel it...I'm loosing everything now...I should never ever bother again...ever...ever...ever...
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