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Really down tonight

alice202

SF Supporter
#1
Everything hurts. I was writing to someone I'm interested in, and he just stopped. Its the story of my life, my whole life. Rejection.

I had a job for a year and it ended at the end of September. So I interviewed for another one at the same company. Instead of giving me a job or declining to offer one, they put me in a trial situation for 3 weeks. After 3 weeks they didn't hire me, they extended the trial for another 3 weeks, which ends Monday. I talked to my old manager and new manager today and neither of them sounded very encouraging about my being hired. So I don't think its going to happen. There are some mixed signals, to be sure. But I am sick of this. Its not fair.

I have no family, no close friends. There will be no holidays for me this year or any year. I wonder if its worth going on. I'm so alone.

Alice
 
#2
I was writing to someone I'm interested in, and he just stopped.
Sometimes someone backs off because of their own insecurities, or they just lose the desire to communicate with anyone. Whatever the reasons are, I'm sorry this happened.
So I don't think its going to happen
I hope you're wrong.
I have no family, no close friends. There will be no holidays for me this year or any year. I wonder if its worth going on. I'm so alone.
Hugs Alice
 
#5
I'm sorry Alice. That's a tough place to be. It may feel like you'll never get a job you want at the moment, but you can get there in the end. It's absolutely worth it to keep going and to stick it out.

I'm sorry you're feeling so isolated at the moment. I wonder if there is a way you could reach out to people. A good place to start might be able to find some local clubs for your interests.

Stay safe. Things can get better for you. Sending hugs *brohug.
 

alice202

SF Supporter
#6
Thanks for your kind responses SFers. Tomorrow I will find out if I have a job, no job, or another 3 week extension. I don't know how they expect me to function like this. I know I could get another job but not without undergoing some financial stress that I don't want to face.

The truth is, I don't really like this job. Its very stressful. But its a job.

The man I was writing to is - well, unpredictable. I can't really say that there's anything between us. We've gotten to know each other but I have no reason to think this is going to go anywhere. He lives on another continent.

I have lots of aquaintances, no real friends. I've had friends, but people lose touch, move away, have differences... nothing seems to last. The quarantines make it much harder. Most groups are not meeting in person and I don't think its easy to make online connections.

I always seem to come back to rock bottom. And here I am. I will rise again, and fall back down again. Nothing ever changes for the long term.

I'm so tired of it all.

Alice
 

alice202

SF Supporter
#7
On my lunch hour. Not a word from the managers about whether I am being hired. This is really making me sick. I'm certain I won't be hired. Why don't they just tell me and end the anxiety?
 

Quietus

Well-Known Member
#8
On my lunch hour. Not a word from the managers about whether I am being hired. This is really making me sick. I'm certain I won't be hired. Why don't they just tell me and end the anxiety?
Just come right out and ask them, tactfully of course.

"Excuse me, Mr./Ms.________, this company has had me working on a trial basis for x amount of time, and has renewed this trial basis, and I am just curious as to whether or not I will be brought on permanently, or if the company is planning to let me go? It would just be nice to know where I stand with you, and have a definitive answer, so that I can prepare for my future, one way or the other."

Something like that maybe. Granted, I haven't worked in a few years, so I am no expert on professional dialogue.
 

alice202

SF Supporter
#9
I asked. I asked my old manager, who couldn't tell me anything. Neither could my supervisor. Finally I asked the manager who was supposed to tell me and he said I'll call you after my meeting. Two hours later, nothing. So I emailed human resources. And finally I was told yes you have a job tomorrow. BUT, we can't hire you yet because there is no open position. (Well, the position was open when I applied for it a month ago.)

So I still am left in limbo without end. Yes I still have a job and benefits.

I did not try to hide my frustration with managers. I told them its really awful not to know if you have a job the next day.

The manager that was supposed to tell me apologized. But its hard for me to let go of it because there is so much stress in my body and I have a splitting headache.
 

BarryW

SF Supporter
#10
Alice I'm glad that you do have a job tomorrow.. even if you don't like it too much, at least it helps cover the bills for now.

I understand your frustration with the communication (or lack thereof) at your company. I have observed or been on the receiving end of some very poor communications from upper management or HR. And when I, or other people, call them out on stuff like that all they always just say "we'll do better next time" but I don't believe for a second that they mean it. They just want me to go away and not bother them. Even though it's their job to handle processes and questions like that.

Sorry I'm probably not helping your mood too much with my mostly negative post. Your avatar is calming to look at. I like outer space.
 

alice202

SF Supporter
#11
Alice I'm glad that you do have a job tomorrow.. even if you don't like it too much, at least it helps cover the bills for now.

I understand your frustration with the communication (or lack thereof) at your company. I have observed or been on the receiving end of some very poor communications from upper management or HR. And when I, or other people, call them out on stuff like that all they always just say "we'll do better next time" but I don't believe for a second that they mean it. They just want me to go away and not bother them. Even though it's their job to handle processes and questions like that.

Sorry I'm probably not helping your mood too much with my mostly negative post. Your avatar is calming to look at. I like outer space.
Barry it actually does help because it validates my experience. Most companies are full of bullshit, this one being no better or worse than most. They offer platitudes, and they expect you to act humble and grateful just to have a job. They pretend they want to hear what you have to say, but if you ever do you won't last long. I'm glad I have a job tomorrow too, but today made me decide to keep looking for something better.

Alice
 

alice202

SF Supporter
#13
So this morning I got a verbal job offer. First bad thing is it involves a substantial cut in pay. Second bad thing is that I have to start over with a new workgroup. The manager told me this was a "lateral" move from my last position with the company. Well a lateral move doesn't involve a 15% pay cut. I am livid at how I was manipulated into this. Nobody ever said that the new position had a different pay scale. This job is much more exhausting and stressful than what I was doing before, and I hate it. Plus there are no other women at all. So I have to stuff my feelings and keep aggressively looking for something better. Life sucks.
 

KM76710

KM stands for Kangaroo Manager
SF Supporter
#14
So this morning I got a verbal job offer. First bad thing is it involves a substantial cut in pay. Second bad thing is that I have to start over with a new workgroup. The manager told me this was a "lateral" move from my last position with the company. Well a lateral move doesn't involve a 15% pay cut. I am livid at how I was manipulated into this. Nobody ever said that the new position had a different pay scale. This job is much more exhausting and stressful than what I was doing before, and I hate it. Plus there are no other women at all. So I have to stuff my feelings and keep aggressively looking for something better. Life sucks.
I am in agreement with you, take the job, take whatever you can to pay the bills and make it through life, but YES, aggressively job hunt for better especially if it is causing stress and exhaustion, take care of yourself first because nobody else is likely to.
 

Kiwi2016

🦩 Now a flamingo, not a kiwi 🦩
Forum Pro
#15
So sorry to hear all you've been through with management...I will truly never understand why compassion seems to evaporate with some managers/management culture of a company. I agree with your decision to take the job but start looking seriously as you do deserve to be in a job where you are respected and receive the compensation that you deserve....sending you hugs...
 

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