I'm freeing myself from a certain financial burden that will not fall to my parents after death. And so, today, I have a very strong urge to end it. With no responsibilites left to consider, it seems the most pragmatic thing to do. I'm just tired. Life doesn't hold any excitement for me anymore. I live life through alien lenses, normal human feelings notwithstanding. It's so pathetic. I hold no appreciation for life, or anything else. Life just feels false and shallow. I feel shallow, more importantly. Everyone seems imbued with a certain vitality, except me. It's an effort to get up everyday, nothing interests me really. My life is just a downward spiral, I want to stop the descent.