Really Fucked It This Time

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Butterfly, Jul 15, 2011.

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  1. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I am such a let down. The one day he was excited for and has been for a long time and I have ruined it. Read throuhlgh his phone. He has told people about the pills in my bag and is angry with me. They all think I am selfish and are angry with me. I am putting him through hell. I cant take hurting him anymore.
  2. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Then apologise and then try to make the rest of the day as good as he hoped. :hug:
  3. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    He clearly cares a lot about you. Try to be open with him let him be part of your support system, if you can.
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Tell him the truth and that you need help..He will appreciate the honesty..He will help you set up an appointment with a therapist and you should let him sit in on some of the sessions.. That way he gets a better idea how to help you..
  5. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I have said sorry to him but he just ignores me. I cant have therapy at the moment as they rejected my referral because I am too complex for CBT currently, apparantly. I have a CPN but I wont be able to ring till Monday and I see himon wednesday anyway. How can I tell my fiance how I feel when he gets so mad and pissed when he wont let me explain the pills in my bag. Hes already made up his mind. I think he thinks I am beyond help. Him and his friends have already made a judgement and I cant even explain myself. :( thank you for thw help guys though I really appreciate it so thank you once again you have kept me going the past couple of days so i cant thank you enough xxxxxxxxx
  6. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I tried once again to explain things last night. All he did was turn his back to me and ignore me. I know I upset him by what he found but I tried so hard to make the rest of his day nice. I treated him to lunch, bought him a giant tub of popcorn and ice blasts, offered to buy him pick and mix just things I knew he would like to make his day good. I was happy and at the time genuinely excited and was affectionate beyond belief. All he did was have a face on all day. I tried to make his special but I failed. This morning he has shouted at me because he ordered a parcel for him but in my name so my mum wouldnt think he was oedering things for himaelf. Except I didnt know this I just knew he bought a book off amazon for £3. So I opened it infront of my mum and then I twigged what it was but I just said oh its Bens book for uni that he got for £3. I came back upstairs and he claimed he had told me about the book in my name but he didnt and shouted at me calling me brains of britain etc. Why is he giving me such a hard time when all I am trying to do is put thing right????
  7. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Ok now I'm pissed off :mad:
    He has no business making you his whipping boy :mad:
    You went out of your way to try to rectify the day and all he's done is chuck it in your face.
    At first, I put it down to him worrying, but the book thing :mad: no excuse for that whatsoever!

    Derogatory remarks and trying to make people feel small are not on! :mad:
    Tell him to stop or piss off!
  8. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    I have tried Terry. Really tried. I don't know what else I can do to make things better.

    I can't do this anymore.
  9. Lost

    Lost Staff Alumni

    I can understand him being mad after the shock of finding the pills but he should have been supporting you soon after and not doing this.

    He is being a true ass to put it politely and sounds like he will only stop when he has had enough gratification from putting you down at the time when you need support most.

    Fook that, leave him to it and find support from somewhere else if your not getting it from him.
    Once he realises he isn't getting the attention (that you should be getting right now), any more he will probably come running back anyway..
  10. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Agrees with Lost, time to leave him to it for a bit.
    Maybe some space will give you time to clear your head and him time to think about his behaviour.
  11. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Well my lovelies I am feeling somewhat better than I was this morning. I walked out this morning because I couldn't take the tension anymore. My suicidal urges were extreme I had to get out of the house. I left him a note to say I had to get some air and that I loved him. He then text the usual you don't care you selfish bitch texts. I got home a while later and just snapped. I told him I wanted to kill myself. I just said it how it was. I lost it. I then collapsed in a heap and he held me while I cried. Since then he has been a lot more supportive and has listened to me. So I am feeling a little better. I can get through today at least. I feel a little relieved. So much better than I have been feeling.
  12. SashaJade

    SashaJade Well-Known Member

    I'm so glad he is being more supportive hun, you need his support so much right now to get through this.

    You know where I am if you ever need me.

    much love for you. :wub: :hug:
  13. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm glad too he's being supportive cos I was just about to write and say how angry I was about the way he was treating you too (like terry said)
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