Really need help?

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by cloudstrise, Jul 18, 2016.

  1. cloudstrise

    cloudstrise Member

    I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow morning, and I'm currently not in a horrible place, but I've been having a really bad struggle with suicidal depression and crippling anxiety. Randomly I get into this mindset where everything is so overwhelming and unbearable, I just can't handle it. I feel like I should just kill myself to end all the thoughts. It's like bad thoughts just force their way into my mind and won't leave, and I can't get out of it. It's only happened to me 3 times in my life, but it just recently happened as of two days ago. And it lasts anywhere from an hour to days. I can't even describe how it feels, but I really hope someone can tell me what it is. I've been diagnosed as bipolar 2 with panic disorder. Please give any advice you can, I have no idea what is causing this, and I don't know what to do. I can't keep living in fear that this will happen again, and I can't keep going through this.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi @cloudstrise Welcome to the forum. Do you think you are paranoid as well as anxious? have you discussed this with your doctor? I'm not a doctor but I think what you are experiencing sounds a bit like psychosis, psychotic episodes I should say, bad enough to make you want to kill yourself. Please bring this up with your psych doctor. They will have a better understanding after an assessment with you. I know the feelings of dread but please remember this will pass and hopefully soon. I wish you the best of luck.
     
  3. cloudstrise

    cloudstrise Member

    I don't think so, and my psychiatrist has asked me a similar question, and had me answer a series of questions and he determined that he didn't consider me psychotic because I didn't fit the criteria. I seemed in touch with reality, ect.
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    This is going to sounds bizarre but I'm going to tell it...

    13th of November last year watching the paris terror attacks unfold on TV all of a sudden I started vomiting from anxiety and fear, I laid in bed, I was in so much fear I couldn't even cry, I couldn't do anything only pray that no one was going to kill me. I never slept until sunrise. I do not have any psychotic illnesses but paranoia does creep in at times, it has happened a few times since the Paris attacks, anxiety so bad that I cannot concentrate on anything only the thoughts going around my head a thousand times an hour.

    My psych nurse told me it was definitely paranoia even though I wasn't psychotic. Talk to your therapist about the anxiety and see what she recommends you do. She might have some coping skills for you. I wish you the best of luck at your appointment and please let us know how it goes, keep safe.
     
  5. cloudstrise

    cloudstrise Member

    Alright, I will, thanks. And I'll post how everything goes here whenever I get the chance to.
     
    Petal likes this.
  6. cloudstrise

    cloudstrise Member

    I saw my therapist, and psychiatrist today. They took a urine sample to test the "levels" in my brain to properly prescribe medication. I talked to my therapist, and both her and everyone else I've talked to in the mental health field recently, think I'm just severely, cripplingly depressed. So no psychotic diagnoses. But I'm extremely hopeful that when the results come back, they can put me on medication that helps. My therapist also went over some coping skills that might help, I'll have to tell in time.