Bad times. I am suffering from a lot of physical pain. Last night I had a fight with someone who I really care about, and around 1 am I lost it. I tried to kill myself I kind of chickened out at the last minute, but I could have died. I can't say anything more specific because we can't talk about methods here. My best friend is on vacation. My other two friends I can talk to about this have not been returning my phone calls, they must be too busy. I have been taking myself off of a medication, a steroid, which I have been taking for rheumatoid arthritis (I've been in agonizing pain and the steriod made it better) when I called the office today they told me that it causes mood swings and depression, especially when you are changing the dosage. I am already bipolar. There are warnings on the bottle that say it can cause bipolar disorder to get worse. I called my therapist, but she is on vacation. I don't know where to turn. I feel so depressed. I can't stand feeling this way. I feel so alone. I told a friend on fb I was suicidal, and they sent me to a page that fb sponsers that is a chat where you can talk to a crisis counselor, and the link didn't work! Then I tried to call the pages suicide hotline twice and got disconnected both times. So that' not working either. I dont' know what to do. I want to die. I dont' know, I want the pain to stop, the physical and emotional pain to stop. Can anybody help me?