Really need help

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Talia862, Dec 28, 2011.

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  1. Talia862

    Talia862 Well-Known Member

    Bad times. I am suffering from a lot of physical pain. Last night I had a fight with someone who I really care about, and around 1 am I lost it. I tried to kill myself I kind of chickened out at the last minute, but I could have died. I can't say anything more specific because we can't talk about methods here.

    My best friend is on vacation. My other two friends I can talk to about this have not been returning my phone calls, they must be too busy.

    I have been taking myself off of a medication, a steroid, which I have been taking for rheumatoid arthritis (I've been in agonizing pain and the steriod made it better) when I called the office today they told me that it causes mood swings and depression, especially when you are changing the dosage. I am already bipolar. There are warnings on the bottle that say it can cause bipolar disorder to get worse. I called my therapist, but she is on vacation.

    I don't know where to turn. I feel so depressed. I can't stand feeling this way. I feel so alone. I told a friend on fb I was suicidal, and they sent me to a page that fb sponsers that is a chat where you can talk to a crisis counselor, and the link didn't work! Then I tried to call the pages suicide hotline twice and got disconnected both times. So that' not working either. I dont' know what to do. I want to die. I dont' know, I want the pain to stop, the physical and emotional pain to stop.

    Can anybody help me?
  2. Amiie..x

    Amiie..x Member

    Everyone at one point in there life wants to die sweetie, some more than others.. You've been so strong to make it this far and to be here writing this makes you even stronger.. Look at who you are or who you want to be and focus on that cause when you focus anything can happen trust me.. Be strong and if you ever want to talk know people are here for you xx
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    It sounds like you have so much going on, with your support system being away and coming off a very powerful is no wonder you are feeling this way...just the pain alone is enough to wear anyone down...I am so glad you are here and please continue to post so that ppl here can support you during this difficult time...another thing: does your therapist have someone who covers for her while she is on vacation? If not, please do not hesitate to get medical attention if you feel that you are unsafe
  4. Talia862

    Talia862 Well-Known Member

    I'm just posting to tell everyone I'm still here. It's still a bit of a battle with the suicidal feelings, but overall I'm feeling better. I decided to call suicide hotline last night and this time I got through. They were really helpful – the woman on the other end was kind and caring, and really did make me feel better. Plus, I took a risk and reached out to people on Facebook that I didn't even really know that well. They were people I liked and admired and had on my friends list but we never really talked much one-on-one. One of the Met posted suicide prevention stuff in the past and the other one just seemed really nice. I talked to them about my suicidal feelings and they were both absolutely wonderful. It turns out that one of the people I reject was actually a therapist, she had some great advice was able to give me some links to different suicide prevention organizations and hotlines. She also had me sign an anti-suicide contract that she wants to renew with me every week. It was incredible how Chinese people were and I barely knew them. I guess people can really surprise you sometimes with how great they can be. My friend is getting back from vacation in a few days. Hopefully I can talk to her about it then. I'm still struggling with depression, but I think I've turned the corner – at least I hope I have. I still fill the downward tug of wanting to commit suicide. But I'm hanging in there. I'm still alive. I'm fighting the suicidal feelings every minute of every day. But I'm still alive
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I think you should go to the ER because your coming off the steroids..They will help you.. They will probably admit you but it's no biggy... Just make sure they know everything..
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