really need some help

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Heavenly Star, Sep 25, 2009.

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  1. Heavenly Star

    Heavenly Star Well-Known Member

    Hey everyone, not sure if i'm posting this in the right place but here goes anyway..

    I have been diagnosed with depression, Post traumatic stress and borderline personality disorder. Lately I have been really struggling with the depression it's getting worse and worse. i've never felt so low in my life. I feel hopeless, tired, miserable and just want to die. I self harm daily and overdose 3 or 4 times a week. I never go to hospital or seek treatment for the overdoses, i just want to die. I can feel myself getting lower and lower every day.

    I'm under the so-called 'care' of a mental health team but i'm having a real problem with them. They don't listen to me and they will not do anything to help treat my depression. I've tried 4 anti depressants (Prozac, Citalopram, mirtazipine and venlafaxine) but none of them were very effective. because of this it's been decided that medication is not necessary. I'm having CAT therapy (because of borderline personalitiy disorder) but it's not helping and i've been doing the other usual things to try and make myself feel better (going out, getting involved in activities). So i'm just being left to suffer and have now come to the conclusion that death is the only way out now. I'm not going to get any better because no one will help me. I realise that I have to help myself but sometimes it's not enough and i struggle. so i turn to other people for help and i get nothing. I dont' know what to do anymore. It's like everyone has given up on me.

    I wanted to ask everyone here. Am i expecting too much from other people? I've looked at NICE guidelines and other information on treating depression and i just don't understand why i'm not being helped. Maybe they all have given up on me and they know that i'm never gonna get better so why bother with me?
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sorry they are not helping you better There are new meds that treat hard to treat depression that you have not tried. If these professionals are not listening then go some where else. Go to a different hospital emerg and tell them you need help. When you are feeling this low it is very hard to reach out to people I am glad you came here because you do deserve help you deserve to be happy and to be heard. I hear you and have gone through same struggles with my siblings and daughter. You need to call crisis team instead of harming yourself tell them truthfully you want to die andhave the means to do so. Let them take you to hospital to get new medication to get you stable. Please call emergency call crisis team and tell them you are suicidal tell them how bad your depression is GETHELP now you need to before your distorted thoughts win. Please i care about you and i want you to call crisis and stop this downward cycle Call emergency dept anyone make them listen go back to your doctor and make him listen you need new meds tell them that please if you have to go to a different hospital do that. If you call crisis they will get you the help you need Do it now okay.
  3. Mustafa

    Mustafa Active Member

    Heavenly Star, since you managed to come here and write about your depression I can tell you that I believe time will heal it and you will feel better. My depression lasted for a few hours before I got to hospital with many injuries and stayed in coma for 4 days.

    We are hear to help each other, so just talk and we might be able to find a solution. Just tell us what's is going on woth you, why are you depressed?
  4. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I can have a very hard time dealing with medical professionals. I'm getting past thinking there has to be an immediate solution from them, medication, or even myself.

    The public services are limited by the purpose of the money they get. They are allowed to do certain things and that is it. Many times they have a limited offering of medication. I've also noticed they can't say a whole lot about it.

    In my area, they don't help unless the person seeking help has moderate to severe problems. If I say that I'm fine, I don't even meet the moderate criteria. If I don't keep contact with them, I get dropped from their services and have to re-apply.

    Now that I understand how the systems works, I don't get so blasted down about them. I'm angry at the system for the way they handle all this but it's all I got.
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