really need someone to talk to

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by Nathan :), Aug 21, 2012.

  1. Nathan :)

    Nathan :) Banned Member

    I lost my twin sister 3 days afterbirth and well I still really miss her and I don't know where she's buried I'm unsure how to ask parents because erm well I don't want to upset them and I don't know if I have the right to know as I was a baby when she died.
    My t thinks this is part of my problems but I really don't know how to ask them I don't have the best of relationships with my parents as most people that talk to me here know.

    This might be in wrong section but feel free to move it if needed
  2. JmpMster

    JmpMster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I think you have the right to ask them, and you have every right to know. :hug:
  3. Nathan :)

    Nathan :) Banned Member

    I'm not sure how to ask. I don't really get on with parents
  4. tness

    tness Well-Known Member

    Just ask them. I think they will appreciated that.

    They have also grief about their child.
    Maybe you and your parents will get closer again after sharing emotions.

    I think you should ask them, do it before you leave for university.
  5. Samara

    Samara Account Closed

    Just start out by saying that sometimes you think about your sister, and imagine what she might be doing now, at your age, you are going off to university now... would she be doing that too?

    Maybe she'd have a job... maybe she'd be prettier than you etc...

    Your parents likely can relate to this, and probably have thought about this at some point and time, whether or not they want to admit it, they will be able to relate to this.

    Then say, that you'd like to pay your respects to your sister, and just let her know you are thinking about her, even at this age. Then ask if you could go visit the grave, and tell your parents that you understand if they are uncomfortable doing that, that you'd go alone; but just say that you'd like to know where it is, so you can go do that.

    That is a reasonable request, when done in this manner.
  6. J185

    J185 Member

    I feel you on this one. I never met my grandfather on my dads side. I live alone with my father(my parents divorced when I was around 5). My mother has pretty much been a non existence in my life, shes a drug addict and alcoholic. My dad is a great parent. His father, who taught him how to be a real, genuine man, died of a stroke when my dad was only 23-25. I never got to meet him. My father also had an older sister, who died at around 7yrs old from leukemia I believe. Well the first time I stood over my grandpa's grave, I had the weirdest feeling. He was buried next to my dads sister who died of leukemia. They are buried in New York. I've been born and raised in Texas all of my life. As I was standing over my grandfathers grave a feeling of shame came over me. I looked at myself and I felt like such a loser and an idiot. My grandfather was a doctor, and so is my dad. I've only worked at pizza but for a few years and now I'm looking elsewhere for another job, but still haven't found one. I remember one night in NY I asked my dad about those 2, which I had never really asked about before. I cried during that dinner, but I was still glad I asked. He really opened up to me for a few moments, shared some deep feelings and memories with me. I think you should just ask your parents.