I am 24 years old. The first time I had thoughts of suicide I was probably seven or eight, and i guess it's been there ever since then. When I as two years old, both of my parents died in a car accident. They were killed by a drunk driver. My dad. I went to live with my aunt and uncle. My aunt always made sure I knew what a burden I was. She would call my parents trash, and tell me I would never be anything. When she and my uncle were getting divorced she told me it was my fault and that I ruined her life. My family moved 800 miles away when i was 17. After highschool i realized I had no friends. I sepent the next six years drinking the pain away. Now I am again left feeling helplessly alone. I feel i push people away. I can't stand the idea of spending the rest of my life alone. I just need it to stop.