Really pissed off

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by asvt, May 10, 2008.

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  1. asvt

    asvt Well-Known Member

    On friday night my mum and her boyfriend were having a right go at me because of my problems he was moaning at me and calling me selfish because i wasn't considering others with my problem. But i do it's why i keep everything bottled up so they don't worry. my mum was flipping out because i don't like people touching me cause of my OCD thing and shouting at me as if i can just stop like that. My mums boyfriend then attacks me in the kitchen shoving his forearm up against my throat and pushing me to the side but i fought back and did the same thing to him. Then later when things calmed down and he started talking he said that i should meet him half way with the blame when it was him who goddam attack me. Then on top of that he adds a death threat saying if i try and take him on he'll bury me. My mum knows about this and did nothing she doesn't care that he attacked me and gave me a death threat i mean for christ sakes she's supposed to be my mother. Meanwhile i'm just supposed to suck it up and keep this bottled inside because if i was to let it out i would end up beating him to death. The next day it was so hard to restain myself from doing something to him that i ended self harmimg pretty badly just to goddam stop myself from doing something. So what am i supposed to do about this no matter how hard i try to explain my problems no will understand and it just ends up in an arguement i have no one who understands no one to be there for me i hate these people so goddam mother fucking much. i am finding it so much harder to restrain myself and just feel that someting is going to snap and that i am going to end hurting a lot of people maybe even killing them with all the rage i have inside. what am i to do how do i control it. why can't anyone just understand and help why can't someone care.
     
  2. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Sometimes people act like they dont care when in fact they do. They just dont understand and dont know how to help.. Maybe thats the case..Maybe not.. I cant say because I dont know your mother, her boyfriend, or you.. Im sorry I cant offer any advice.. All I can say is hang in there and best of luck..
     
  3. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    i wish i had the advice for you.
    I was in a similar situation and i just had to get out. i left at 14.
    I dont know how old you are though or if there is any possibility of leaving, or maybe you could talk to your mother?
    PM if you want to chat.
     
  4. Boratz

    Boratz Well-Known Member

    why can't anyone just understand and help why can't someone care.

    That is the stigma that comes along with the illness.
    We cannot reach out to them for some reason
    they don't believe how difficult
    it is to have no one to understand.

    I lost a lot of friends ,some demonized me
    for being an aetheist. Some thought I
    am crazy. Come to terms with it & accept
    the fact not that they don't love you ,they don't understand

    What do you think if you bring them to a psych iatrist with you &
    ask the Dr. to explain it to them. What do you thinnk?
     
  5. asvt

    asvt Well-Known Member

    I have tried that before with my mother and it didn't work but i haven't tried it with my dad because we've never really been that close so i guess i might try it with him and see what happens
     
  6. Nero

    Nero Member

    What you really need now is try to put away all your wraith towards anyone whom you hate no matter what they have done to you and seek absolute solutions which may just help you out in this situation.

    Asking your dad for help is a good idea but try to explain as throughly as possible for maximum understanding which may help you solve your problems much more easily.

    Control youself, seek guidance and salvation from god in your heart and make this right choice.

    Bless you.
     

  7. My suggestion is for you to file criminal charges against the guy due to the death threat. By the way, your mother ought to be defending you. It is a damn shame that she isn't. I hope that the situation gets resolved soon, in your favor.
     
  8. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    How old are you? I think you should look for help somewhere else.
     
  9. Gunner12

    Gunner12 Well-Known Member

    If you can, get a recorder and the next time something bad happens, try to record everything for proof.

    I'm truely sorry about what has happened to you, I hope things will slowly get better.

    If your mother won't listen, talk to someone else.
     
  10. asvt

    asvt Well-Known Member

    I am 19 and considered an adult but i just feel like i am a little kid and where else can i look for help i have no one. I recently been able to talk to a CBT therapist have had 4 sessions and we haven't done anything. Is there ever a way out for people like us.
     
  11. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    At your age you are not forced to stay in a home where abuse like that can happen. I know it is difficult to make it on your own, but maybe the time has come. You can file assault charges if you choose to. You could also file for an order of protection. Everything requires that you be proactive in your situation. You are the one that has to seek help. If you were still a child, there are services that could assist you. Are there any places such as Domestic Violence where you are? I am not familiar with areas outside of the US and Canada.
    It may seem like you have done nothing in CBT, but I bet you really have. The therapist needs to get to know you and get a feel for where your thinking errors lie. This is done over a period of time. Also by talking through things, you begin to desensitize to them. The therapist can then find the hotspots and focus on these areas to promote healing. I hope you are able to get out of your current situation soon. Take care. :hug:
     
  12. touglytobeloved

    touglytobeloved Well-Known Member

    There is a way out for you. It might be a little hard, but, you will succeed in the end. So, first, try to get a job, and move out from your home. I hope you have some friends that can help you there. And dont be surprised if your mum comes to ask you to come back home soon.
     
  13. Gunner12

    Gunner12 Well-Known Member

    Don't be surprised if she just drops off you map too.

    The ways out of that might be hard, but there are ways.
     
  14. :hug: to asvt
     
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