Really Scared

I think I will do the deed soon. I have had intense suicidal thoughts for well over a week now and I think soon I will succumb. I am not scared of death itself. I just want a life without pain. I am just worried about the people I will leave behind. I just cannot do this anymore.

 

hun now is time then to go to hospital and tell them how critical you are hun time to get meds adjusted or sign self in until you feel more stable. don't pass on the sadness to your loved ones get help now okay

 

If you have people in your life that care and you don't want to hurt them, you are fortunate. It also shows that you are very caring. I don't know what to tell you to keep you going, but do whatever it takes.

 

A life without pain does not exist. But you can learn how to deal with pain better. So life can get better. Try some therapy before you make this choice. Than at least you know you have done everything you could do.

 

Hey Lexi, You have alot of people who care about you..What about your fiance?? You have always shown strength here so show some of that to yourself..More people than you know would take it hard if you did the deed..Please stay with us..

 

Things get better. Even when we know they don't, if that makes any sense. Sometimes the worst makes us know that nothing else will exist besides what you're feeling right now. But it's not the truth, the best parts of life are always here no matter what's cracking off. It just takes a little bit to reconnect with them.

Idk how bad it's getting, but if you're being smuthered by your feelings and thoughts, you really need to talk about it with someone to help you regain your own clarity and understanding so you can begin to enjoy the better parts of life.

 

My CPN is coming to see me today. I might just tell him everything and how unsafe I feel. If it means I have to be hospitalised then so be it. Its either that or death.

 

Hi Lexi, I'm sad to hear you're hurting but I'm glad that you're considering telling your CPN -your safety is the most important thing....if you wanna talk about anything - I'm only a PM away too....

Be safe hun...

 

Thanks Chris :hug: I just dont feel safe at all I just hope I get taken seriously.