Really Struggling Tonight

[Butterfly]

I have been on an up spiral for so long. For the past weeks or so al I have done is feel euphoric, on an up, full of energy, starting several projects but also irritable and agitated at times. All I have done for the past couple of days is sing, dance constantly non stop. Yesterday I felt a little lower as I was agitated and irritated as I kept starting things and not finishing them and was restless but I took some me time and felt a little better. Today I have been even more energetic but I also feel dangerous. I'm not gonna call crisis or go to a&e or anything like that because i dont feel i nedd to. I have taken my seroquel in the hopes to wear me out and sleep but have voices breaking out this evening first time in a longlong time. guess i am jsut looking for someone to talk to this mood scares me far more than any of my low crisis points because then i am in control but i dont really feel in control tonight. sorry for the ramble i have 1000000001 thoughts racing and coliding in my brain

 

[may71]

did the seroquel help?

 

[Butterfly]

Not really, Took it over hour and a half ago and still not sleepy

 

[prakash]

hope you feel better. what else can i do for you???

 

[Misfit]

Hi. Your situation sounds similar to mine's - big highs and creative bursts then crushing lows that leave me asking, "Why bother?" How are you feeling now?

 

[Butterfly]

I think things are calming down slightly. But can just hear whispers and snickering with 1001 thoughts colliding at once but still like I could go on with my one woman rave

 

[Misfit]

I would suggest listening to a podcast or something like that. It's what I like to do when my head's a mess of thoughts - helps to drown them out and get everything back under control.

 

[Iain]

Dear Amethyst Moon,
I am so sorry to hear that you are having these racing thoughts. I dont know what to suggest to you except to say hang in there mate. It is so hard to fight the thoughts that race through at a million miles an hour. I know. In my case nothing seems to help. Oh sure the Serequel works for the short term (and I guess if you are in a bit of a crisis that might be the answer..to sleep), but I understand about the cascading thoughts where one thing leads to another and so forth.
All Im saying, as a person recently released from a phsych ward, is to hang in there.
I am sending nice positive thoughts to counteract all those other ones and hope it helps.

 

[Butterfly]

Thank you all! Last night was rough but managed to sleep in the end and have only just woken up. I have been out cold for about 11 hours with no interruptions. Yay. I seem to be a lot calmer at the moment but that could always change. I almost rang the samaritans last night, which is something I wuold never normally consider because I get bad anxiety talking to strangers on the phone but whatever is going on with me made me almost consider it, which is a good step. Only thing that stopped me was I suddenly became incredibly drowsy and wanted to make use of that. I now have samaritans stored on my phone so if I should feel like I can't control my actions again, I will give it a shot.

Thanks for the support guys x