really struggling

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Milly, Oct 3, 2008.

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  1. Milly

    Milly Well-Known Member

    Im fairly new to sf and im still getting used to expressing things in this way. ive been really struggling with suicidal thoughts again, ive felt this way off and on for years and when im not actually suicidal then i just feel empty and depressed and worthless. Recently the suicidal thoughts have been stronger than ever and in the last three weeks hit a new low(split up with g/f, been made redundant and cat died all in 3 weeks). the thing is that a friend of mine has split up with his wife and confided in me that he was thinking of ending it all and taking his own life, he's turning to me for support and im really struggling to be there for my self at the moment and i really dont think i can be strong and be there for my friend. it really worries me what he'll do if i cant be there for him because he's not got any other friends but im feel like im struggling to get through each day myself. the pressure i feel from this is crushing me and tearing me apart. hope that kinda makes sense as im
    kinda finding it a bit strange typing these things, im sure ill get used to it.

    I feel really selfish seeking solice and help on here because its like - i cant support my friend cos ive got probs but i expect others with probs to help me!!! - does that make sense?

    I just dont know how to cope with this anymore:sad:
     
  2. Theory

    Theory Well-Known Member

    Arght! That's so not a good situation to be in...
    Yes it makes sense, it's not selffish of your part. We're here, you're not alone! :hug: DO you see a psychiatrist? Does your friend get any govermental help? You should! Sometimes it can help to go and pour out our frustrations and despair. :smile:
     
  3. Milly

    Milly Well-Known Member

    no dont see a psychiatrist. dont think i could do the shrink thing.
     
  4. TheWr0ngChild

    TheWr0ngChild Well-Known Member

    Ever thought about counselling? It's a lot more personal and individual. It's not really a shrink, but rather an opportunity to talk openly about feelings and how you deal with them. Counsellors are not about advising their oppinion, they are not doctors, they treat you much more like a person instead of a number or "patient". When I had counselling she never once reffered to me as her patient, always by my first name. We chatted instead of "talked". I really liked it and it helped me move on with a lot of things.
     
  5. Milly

    Milly Well-Known Member

    Never considered it, not sure i could sit in front of someone and talk about everything. the thought of councelling kinda scares me :sad: dont know why but it does.
     
  6. Milly

    Milly Well-Known Member

    I cant cope with this existance any more. i feel empty and worthless,weak and pathetic. i look at myself and feel nothing but disgust and hate. i just want the pain and sadness to end. my life is pointless and cold, i have no-one to lean on, the one person i can trust i cant turn to with this. i have lost the last little spark that kept my fire going and all that fills my mind is thoughts of dying.
    ive finally lost the last little bit of desire and will to try anymore. theres just an all consuming wish no to live any more
     
  7. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    I'm sorry to hear that you're suffering so badly Milly. Please don't give up hope. Life can get better. I'm sure that you're stronger than you think. You can beat this. :hug:
     
  8. Milly

    Milly Well-Known Member

    All my strength has been used up, i have nothing left to carry on for. its only a short matter of time before my home goes the same way as my job and g/f and then i will truly have nothing. Everytime ive felt suicidal before ive always "plodded on " and ive got through it (just), this time i feel like i just dont have the will to go on. im not chasing the fairytale that itll get better anymore, it never will!:sad:
     
  9. Lexie23

    Lexie23 Member

    I am feeling the same way hun, I feel like all my strength has been used up by trying...I am currently writing some poetry about all of this, or just trying to write down anything. I don't know why for....just for something to do. PM me if you want :)

    Hugs Hun.
     
  10. Milly

    Milly Well-Known Member

    Im still a bit of a newbie on here but just want to say that sf has kept me "ticking over" for the last few weeks:thanks:

    . when i joined i was extremely low and extremely close to ending it all. ive now got a new job that i start tomorrow :yeah: and while it doesnt stop the feelings entirely and doesnt pull me out of the really dark place that im in at the moment, its does mean that i dont have to worry about a roof over my head and foods on the table!! it feels like that its one little crack thats been plastered over, if that makes sense. Ok so ive not posted loads but just being around the site has helped.

    And a huge thanx to fellow newbie Lexie23, the chats really helped hun :hug::hug::hug:
     
  11. rootedphoenix

    rootedphoenix Well-Known Member

    :hug: I'm glad you're feeling better. I hope things continue to get better, too.

    *happy dances about new job* That's very awesome. I hope it goes well.
     
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