Really struggling

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Secre, Apr 7, 2010.

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  1. Secre

    Secre Member

    I am really, really struggling at the moment. I can put on a smile through the day so my family and church people friends think everything is ok, but as soon as I'm on my own I can't hide anymore. I just can't do this anymore. I'm scared the whole time even though I should be old enough to deal with it.

    I can't think of anything but different ways to die. But equally I know that I've hurt those around me enough already, I've lent on them too far and I've screwed them over. And I don't want to hurt them anymore. But I just can't do this anymore.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Then it is time to lean on the professiionals a bit more Call crisis let them know you are struggling with sucidal thoughts Call your doctor talk get on meds switch your medication up see if that works Get therapy to help but do something positive to help yourself. New medication new therapist change things up to get you back on track to get you feeling better okay so you don't have to hurt your love ones get doing the right thing get help.
     
  3. Jami e

    Jami e Member

    Why are you hiding your sadness from your family? they love you and you should talk to them about it or a close friend perhaps? Any age people go through crisis and have life issues, your never to old to have a problem. Please dont think about ways to die but ways to fight your sadness, As soon as your depressed and scared your depression kicks in and it will feel like it's the end but believe me your not alone and aslong as you keep saying that to yourselve you will make it through :wink:
     
  4. Secre

    Secre Member

    It probably doesn't help that I don't trust doctors. I don't trust doctors and I don't trust medication. And I can't speak to anyone because I've already leant on them too much. I've already relied on them too much and I don't want to put anymore on them.

    I've kind of exhausted my options of people to turn to. Due to my history with self harm and anorexia I have kind of already used up the sypathy vote and general people to lean on. I can't hurt them anymore. But the only way to not hurt them is to stop living, but that will probably hurt them almost as much.
     
  5. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    I sent you a PM and hope you continue you to post, it really help and we here understand. You will find lots of support here and new friends too so please stick around.

    Love B
     
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