I am really, really struggling at the moment. I can put on a smile through the day so my family and church people friends think everything is ok, but as soon as I'm on my own I can't hide anymore. I just can't do this anymore. I'm scared the whole time even though I should be old enough to deal with it. I can't think of anything but different ways to die. But equally I know that I've hurt those around me enough already, I've lent on them too far and I've screwed them over. And I don't want to hurt them anymore. But I just can't do this anymore.