Really struggling

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Dcat, Aug 4, 2011.

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  1. Dcat

    Dcat New Member

    I am really struggling right now. I lost my job in January, and up until now, have managed to pay my bills. But, my ability to do this has come to an end. For the first time in my life, I can't pay my bills, and am struggling to come to a solution other than suicide. I just missed my mortgage payment and paying my credit cards for the first time in my life. Ending my life and letting those around me collect my life insurance and pick up the pieces is the only solution I have at the moment.

    I really don't want to hurt my kids, my girlfriend, my mom, my ex wife...but the prospects are dim, and I really don't know what else to do. I'm really taking it a day at a time, an hour at a time...not sure how this story is going to end. Funny, 10 years ago my net worth was over 1 I can't pay my bills. I've contemplated bankruptcy, but then what?

    I pray to God to help me...but I haven't found any answers yet. And, I really don't know what kind of answers you have...but I'm scared, and not sure how much longer I can live with all this stress.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Talk to a financial adivisor. maybe bankruptcy is the way to go i know others have done this and they are now suriviving See what government help you can get welfare cheques even to hold you until you get another job
    Money is no reason to kill yourself; you're right too many would suffer endlessly Talk to someone that can help you claim bankruptcy but don't harm yourself Alot of people are in the same place you are, so don't think you have failed. it is just the way damn life is now so many people out of jobs.
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I am sure you have been very creative in your job search, but, have you tried the various social media sites (e.g. LinkedIn) that are out there...several ppl I know got their jobs that way...also, is there a way to convert your skills to fit the skill sets needed in recession proof industries (e.g health care)...just my thoughts and please PM me if I can help...I have read thousands (really) of resumes in my career and would provide any assistance I can...J
  4. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Hi Dcat,

    First off, I'd like to welcome you to SF. I'm feeling really emotional after reading your post.. I don't know what to say :( :hug: I want to see your financial situation improve, and yes I like total_eclipse's suggestion of seeing a financial adviser. I don't know much about how declaring bankruptcy works... sounds like a good idea to me, but I know extremely little about finances.

    :hug: :hug:

    Take care and stay safe,

  5. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    I am dealing with similar problems, it's really hard not to panic and just want to give up. I am losing my house in a few months, filing for bankruptcy, and just trying to survive every day on what I earn from a part time job. Financial stress is horrible. I have thought about killing myself over it pretty much every day. I hope it gets better for you.
  6. roscho

    roscho Well-Known Member


    I'm right there with you. Not in exactly the same situation - but similar.

    Communication is key. You need legal aid - a bankruptcy will help you get a new starting point.

    The worst thing you can do is ignore this situation another day. The challenge for many of us in this position is that the situation itself has eroded away our self esteem.

    The job market is tough - but it is often tough - Network on the social media. You might need to relocate or retrain - or rewrite your resume several different ways to lean it to different markets.

    You get second chances. You are the same person that was wildly successful 10 years ago. Scratch that. You are even more experienced. You are better now than you were.

    Good things will come your way again.
  7. cannolongercope

    cannolongercope Active Member

    Dear dcat,

    It seems time you need to adapt your thinking to down sizing. You may have to down size to a studio apartment.

    It is important to be grateful for what you do have. To develop a sense of gratefulness watching news or documentaries on some areas in Africa or around the world where people have nothing and are starving to death may help you get a different concept of what being grateful means.

    Start selling off items in your home. Since you are down sizing, many things will not be needed. Put your home up for sale. If you owe more than it is worth, talk to the bank about your options.

    Bankruptcy sounds like an option you will have to take.

    In my opinion, America's economy is in the process of shutting down. A new normal is being developed. I live in a studio and am able to support myself on unemployment; although I did just start a new job but make very little to start.

    Dramatic down sizing is worth a try and I hope you can put your mind on that plan instead of ending your life.

    Take care Dcat.
  8. Dcat

    Dcat New Member

    Thanks for the comments. Still in a dark place. Took a $2000 ring to a couple "We buy gold" places today...highest offer I got was $250(didn't take it). It's ironic, but I have over $200k equity in my house, but can't tap into it or sell the house.

    It's going to take a miracle to make it thru this weekend. I really can't take this stress much longer...
  9. cannolongercope

    cannolongercope Active Member

    Maybe you could sell the ring on Craigslist.

    Is the reason you cannot sell the house due to the fact on today's market you owe more than it is worth?

    If you are unable to make payments any longer, then you know what will happen in the coming months. Could you rent out a room or two? Could you live with a friend or relative and rent the home?

    If sounds like you have had a wealthy life style before and now you are entering a poor life style. That is difficult to shallow.

    Are you able to share your fears and stress with family or friends? Does anyone close to you know you are thinking of ending your life?
  10. roscho

    roscho Well-Known Member


    The craigslist idea is good if you are in a city that has an active craigslist - not sure of your whereabouts.

    I'm getting off the bottom thanks to that site... I was able to sell 3 things that were worth enough money to get me moving in a positive direction. Hated to take the loss that I took, but I can't look at it that way. Jewelry is tough to move though. Keep trying.
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