really struggling

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by LucuLou82, Feb 15, 2012.

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  1. LucuLou82

    LucuLou82 New Member

    I am really struggling with things at the moment. I have suffered with depression for about 10 years and feel really lonely. each time i have a breakdown, i feel like i dont bounce back to the level i should. I cant cope with the demands my family make on me so i made the decision to cut off my mum and two brothers. I live wiht my dad, step mum and 16 year old half brother which is ok, but i feel like an outsider. i have tried talking to them, but they are not able to acknowledge anything, or the fact that some days i'm rarely acknowledged.

    i feel really frustrated as i am a social worker, I need help as I keep geting thoughts of suicide which are really upsetting. I couldnt go through with anyting but I feel really desperate, I just want to get on with my life. i am worried about asking for help as it may have implications for my career, occupational health will also need to be informed. i am realy lost and desperate. I really cant turn to my friends. i dont know what to do
  2. A1231988

    A1231988 Well-Known Member

    Stick around here for a while, maybe come to the chat room too. There are a lot of very helpful and very insightful people here that are happy to help you with your struggles. :)
  3. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Well done for admitting this.
    It sounds like family is a cause of stress for you? Do you feel they ignore you, maybe because they think you can cope, that you are just letting off steam to them?

    Can you not tell your friends because you fear they will not understand, or because they are in the same profession and will judge you?
  4. Waine

    Waine Member

    If your family can't or won't notice you or talk to you why don't you move out? Go out and socialise, make new friends (real ones not online).

    Your job is extremely important and other people rely on you for support so you need to be strong yourself.

    Just think of yourself first and forget about negative people.
  5. LucuLou82

    LucuLou82 New Member

    I really appreciate your replies. I am currently staying with my dad, step mum and younger half brother. I am hoping to move out wihtin the next couple of months. I have recently cut any contact with my real mum and two brothers- they are all incredibly needy and only ever come to me when they are in crisis. one of my brothers is in prison for attempted murder- of his ex partner so i have no contact with her or my niece its so difficult as I feel I am being penalised for him being related. I have nothing to do with him and havent for years.

    I dont want to be a burden to my friends, over the last 2 years, 3 of them have got married or have become parents and where my family is a complete nightmare, there has always been some kind of crisis but I am hoping that now I am not in contact with mum, that will calm down a bit.

    I went to teh gp and my medication has been changed but i still feel like i would be better of dead, the only difference is that i dont get upset when i think about it, is that normal? i read back a letter to my parents and felt numb, absolutely nothing. I am frightned of disclosing too much to my go becuase of my career.
    I am fine when I am at work, it keeps me going but thats only 9-5. i feel really stuck.
  6. letty

    letty Banned Member

    I am sorry that you are having a hard time, its good you are here expressing your thoughts and feelings. you need to take care of yourself, and let your family fend for themselves,
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