I am really struggling wiht things at th emoment, i have suffered from depression for the last ten years and I am only 31. I feel like an absolute failure. I am on medication whihc helps with te anxiety but the suicidal thoughts are really upsetting me. I am on the waiting list for CBT and frightened to ask for help as it may have implications to my career. I cant cope anymore. I have tried to deal wth things but my dad adn step mum dont understand and barely acknowledge me, they are too focused on my perfect 16 year old half brother. I love him so much but i feel that if i say anything, they think i;m either jealous or attneiotn seeking. really cant cope. I need help but if i contact a mental health team, work will find out. i am a social worker. I'm really desperate and cant cope. I couldnt go through with ending my own life but i have gone as far as looking at methods and thinking about where. it frightens me.