Really struggling

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Adsum, Jun 14, 2012.

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  1. Adsum

    Adsum Member

    I'm not sure if this is the appropriate place or if I should even tell how I feel.

    I seem to be all over the place lately. I don't really know what is wrong with me. I feel like I'm losing my mind a bit. I have been horribly suicidal but along with that I have felt the worst anger that I think I have ever felt in my life.

    I have been betrayed or abandoned by a number of people in my life recently and I'm feeling really alone and hurt. It seems that one moment I want to run my car into a concrete bridge support, the next I want to get revenge on one of the people who has hurt me the most and the most recently. The feelings that I'm having are so unsettling that I'm having a hard time just sitting with them. I don't know what to do.

    Do other people find themselves sort of switching between horrible sadness and despair to outright rage at those who have hurt or abandoned you?:badday:
  2. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    Situations in your life can definitely take control of your feelings and your attitude. If a lot of "bad" things happen consecutively, the loss for control becomes even stronger. Have you seen anyone professionally? I am not a fan of medications, but sometimes as a band-aid they can get you through a rough time or situation.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Anger sadness are at the opposite ends of depression i have told. emotions are to undestand and get a hold of sometimes I too hope you have a good therapist who will help you hun hugs
  4. momluvslgg

    momluvslgg Member

    Hi Adsum - I'm so sorry for all the emotional struggles you are dealing with, and I'm glad you are reaching out on this forum for support. It sounds like you are in a lot of pain and it must be very difficult to sort out all the range of emotions you are experiencing. As the other friends wrote, its often helps to talk to a professsional about how you are feeling. In my time with Focus on the Family, I have often referred people to their rseources, such as their free counseling helpline at spammer (4357). Also, I found a few articles that may relate to some of the feelings you are dealing with here and here. Just know that I'm praying for you friend, asking that God will surround you with His healing and hope for today and in the days ahead. Please keep reaching out and know that we care. God bless you!
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    :hug: I'm sorry that people have abandoned you---it happens to me all the time. I get angry, wondering why they would leave...and sometimes I blame myself, thinking they would stick around if I was important. I don't deal with abandonment like most people--it feels like my heart breaks when people leave. So, I know how you feel, and I wish there was a way I could help you feel better. I hope you don't do anything drastic because we are here for you.
  6. momluvslgg

    momluvslgg Member

    Hi again Adsum - I just wanted to check in to see how you are feeling today. Given some of the things you expressed, I was worried about you, and also hope you don't do anything to hurt yourself or someone else. I forgot to mention the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (NSPL) at 1-800-273-8255. Just know I'm still praying for you, for God's healing and compassion for your pain, and His hope and restoration for your life. God be with you, friend!
  7. Adsum

    Adsum Member

    Thank you to all of you for responding. Thank you to momsluvlgg for the links and checking back in as well.

    I'm still here even if I am battling with that on a moment by moment basis.

    I had therapy today. I don't really think that it does so much for me. I leave just so frustrated and feeling so inadequate at helping people to understand what I'm feeling and going through.

    I feel like I'm the human version of Shrodinger's cat. Everyone is content to leave me in the box and define me in the way that fits how they feel about me or what is the most palatable to them. No one wants to delve inside for real answers because that might get messy. Once they opened the box, they would not be able to go back to the freedom of defining me for themselves simply because of ignorance. They would have to judge me based on proof or prejudice.
  8. momluvslgg

    momluvslgg Member

    Hi Adsum,

    I'm just checking back to see how you are doing. I'm sad to hear that your therapy session didn't feel helpful to you. I understand that sorting through personal issues can take time, and I'm praying that you will not give up hope and know how important you are in God's eyes. He is the one that knows you for who you are and loves you for all you are to Him. You continue to be in my prayers, friend!

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