Really Unhappy

[LonelyBoy4Ever]

Hello im new to this, first of all sorry for my bad english:sad: .

Ive been suicidal for a few years now, I attemped twice to commit suicide a few years back, but it didnt work, im not ganna tell how I tried. But afther those 2 attemps I stop trying and I was happy for a year or 2 and now, I dont know why but im unhappy again. Im sitting almost everyday alone in my room sitting behind my pc being on msn and playing games, thats all I do. I dont have a girlfriend nor im trying to get one caus im to ugly to get one, my mom and sisters hates me ( I got a feeling they tho caus they always yell to me), I only see my dad twice in 2 weeks and I dont really have a friends or a social life. Ive got a bad memory thats becaus (I think) when I was born, my brains were bleeding, but the doctors saved my life just in time or I would be perament paralized. U guys maybe think "Gee,,, is that all" but im just unhappy :sad: and im to scared and ashamed to tell any1 about it. Therefor I hope this site will helps me.:sad:

 

[tip]

seems to be this kind of idea in society that if your depressed or unhappy your a weirdo.

I know thats how I felt, I couldnt' tell any1 that I was unhappy...putting on this brave front of being happy and everything when inside...life just sucks.

I think its great you had that period you were happy, why were you happy then? And how can you get back to that time maybe.

Im sure yor sis and mum don't hate you, screaming at you is just what they do! If you killed yourself they'd probably still be screaming at you for being so silly! Trust me, maybe they just don't realise that they are always like that - best thing is just to tell them, especially your mum.

I bet its alot to do with seeing the bad parts of themselves in you, or maybe even parts of your dad (as your parents are seperated).

I've got a good memory and some of my friends have really really bad memories, but that doesn't make them bad people at all.

Yeah Im ugly too, join the club dude, ugly is only in the eye of the beholder (so God-damn am I uglY!) and having a GF is not the answer essentially.

Think of that good period you had, and why, and try to get back there - most importantly talk to your mum, don't be ashamed or scared to say what you feel.