i Am 18 have not had a job since i left school and from this have come depressed insecure quiet timid and alot of other things, recently i have really wanted to just commit suicide but i do not dare do it, if i had a gun i would have shot myself in the head by now, every night i wish that i am never going to wake up but it never happens. i end up staying in bed sleeping till about 4pm everyday and up all night having depressing thoughts. My family are strarting to get on my back about getting a job and whether i am depressed but i could never tell them, i am too shy and self-conscious etc. to even leave the house and look for a job or call a job. where as in the past i would have been very confident and outspoken. but now i feel i have tottaly changed i am not the person i once was and it bugs me 24/7, i just wish i could go back in time and change everything.. I do have a great girlfriend and after first meeting her that really made things look up for a while but with no results, she constantly tells me i need a job and im lazy etc. i regulary think that would having a job change all this...eg getting me out of the house everyday, meeting and socialsing with new people, earning money but sometimes i think even if i got a job it would just be the same and things would not get better. on a night i often think of ways in which to kill myself but never dare even attempt it or think to myself things will get better surely! but they never do i have been unemployed now for 2 and a half years, and being 18 has been the worst year of my life when it should have been 1 of the best, i hardly see my mates anymore as they are all out spending their money and going on holidays etc. and i am sat at home in my room alone. and when i do see them i am very shy and timid around them, when i used to be one of the loudest and most fun-loving.. when they bring up there jobs in conversation i just have to drop my head and hope no one mentions me not having a job or being lazy or whatever it really gets to me. my relationship with my family has suffered and i hardly mumble two words to them now or spend any time with them and they have tried to help many times but nothing seems to work ever. i believe all this has gave me depression and mental health problems too, i really want to make something of my life and have fun whilst i am young, but i see suicide as the only way out sometimes. altough i know the effect this would have on my family and girlfriend maybe even friends and i would not want to put any of them through that, i need help and i have just started to realise this. but i do not want to tell anyone i know about these problems. can anyone offer any words of advice or help as i would appreciate it right now.