really

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by silent_chaos, Mar 11, 2016.

  1. silent_chaos

    silent_chaos Well-Known Member

    Am I just that much of a waste of space. I don't know why I'm letting 1 person out of 5 billion getting me down. Wtf is wrong with me. I want her back so bad. But I would just be wasting my life knowing how much of a lyer she is. I haven't been eating or sleeping. I was actually throwing up this morning from the stressed have never done that before and ive been threw a lot. I told myself dont let anyone get close to me. I failed! I'm so physical sick. Well I guess emotionally too. How does someone cry so much? I'm saving the emails of threats and how she talking me into getting that account. I walked right into it.
     
  2. AdamTide

    AdamTide Well-Known Member

    No, you absolutely are not a waste of space. You are a good person who can get good out of life and help others. As far as the other person, try not to let them effect you in such a negative way. Don't let them have so much control over how you feel about yourself. Far as crying, at least you get it OUT. Try to think of her less and less. Her opinion of you or how she treats you does NOT make it true. You keep on being a good person. Hold on strong.
     
  3. silent_chaos

    silent_chaos Well-Known Member

    I'm afraid of my now trust issues getting in the way of any future relationship. That ship has sailed. I've been driving for hours blasting my music. But I stop cause I was getting reckless. One minute I feel like everything is going to be OK. But the next I feel like I just want go get lost in a bottomless pit with no possible way to climb out.
     
  4. AdamTide

    AdamTide Well-Known Member

    Life doesn't have to be all dark. I know life can seem to be hopeless at times but you are still alive so that means there IS hope. You are cared about. You can get good out of life. Do something to help another person. Take care of yourself. Get something good to eat or get a good hot shower. You are not without hope. Hold on strong. Things can get better and better.
     
    sahel likes this.
  5. silent_chaos

    silent_chaos Well-Known Member

    Your totally Right life doesn't have to be dark. I'm just mostly beating myself up for doing what I did. It was soooo stupid. I even told my therapist at the being of the relationship about the red flags where going off that I noticed.
     
  6. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I can promise you it does get easier in time. Right now everything seems impossible... but in time (and perhaps with the help of your therapist) you can look at this from a distance and feel completely different.

    The thing about falling in love is that you miss any red flags... love is a state of madness... it's a biological thing even. We see no faults in the other person, we just want to bond with them. Don't beat yourself up over this. It could happen to anyone.
    And those scammers are clever, they know what buttons to press and how to play a person.

    Try to be kind to yourself, okay? You need to build yourself back up now. Small steps for now, let your therapist help you get back on track. Ask for help with what you need.

    You deserve to treat yourself right.
     
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I sometimes vomit from anxiety and stress and take a drug called stemetil for it, it works great. I just though i'd let you know that in case you were looking for something like that.Don't let that one person get you down, you are so much stronger than this, don't underestimate yourself hun. You're a lovely person :)
     
  8. Lady Snowblood

    Lady Snowblood Active Member

    Do you know what came to my mind after reading your post? I think it is wonderful that you are still able to love, after all what you've been through. The last person you gave your heart to might not have been very careful with it, but I'm sure there is someone out there for you who will value your feelings much higher and treat you with the respect you deserve.

    And don't let these trust issues overcome you now. Take me, for example. I am not able to trust anyone, and this prevents me from giving people a chance in the first place. If you open yourself up to others, you might get hurt again, that's true, but on the other hand, you might also find support, mutual understanding, friendship or love. And I guess these things are worth going through all this sh*t before.