Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Alarnia, Jul 22, 2012.

  1. Alarnia

    Alarnia Member

    Everyone comes on this site for help and support and this site is awesome for that but then you get the constant same people day after day they say oh i cant do this im going to end it all bla bla 2 weeks later there back same thing, I have learned that if someone truly cant handle things they just do it they dont go on chatrooms and post they dont go anywhere, so it shows the people that come here are upset and hurting yes but deep down there have a urge to not end it all they just want someone with some heart some feelings to speak out and help them to make them see what it is thats wrong and that life can sometimes be worth living, I have been down the road of not wanting to be here day after day memories and flashbacks flash in my mind but i now only now have learned that i need to fight this, i was admitted hospital i spoke with others who understand the feelings gone through this had ect and they say the same that somehwhere deep down inside EVERYONE is an urge to keep living hence you come on this site and hence you chat and post messages,. I do not care if im banned for trying to speak the truth but im saying this to you all stop giving in so easily and seek help you so need ending your life is not a way out of things it wont make the problems go away it will just mean you are out of the problems and it causes other people problems the choice is yours you can be silly selfish and all the other names people call us when we azre depressed and want to die or you can hold on and get help yeah you may have done alk there is out there ect meds bla bla we all have done that you cant always reply on others to help us we have to help ourselfs also so maybe if you can sit and read this then think yes i can do this ending it wont help me it may seem like it but it wont help bleh im done i just needed to get this out cause im tired of the same constant rubbish day after day ill be around maybe but this site is awesome for those who need it im just one of those who got help and i need to move on i know its there if i ever need it again but for now TAKE CARE EVERYONE
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Every body needs help sometimes from somewhere - I am glad you were able to find the help you needed, from whatever source it came from.
  3. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Alarnia, I agree that many people with suicidal ideas and feelings do respond and start on the road to recovery when they feel heard and supported. That is what we do here - listen and support. I'm sorry to learn that you have had your own struggles in the past, but am glad that you seem to have found a way to deal with them.

    I would caution all members that some people rehearse/state their suicidal feelings and intentions again and again for weeks, months, years...and then they off themselves. And many of those people are in therapy, are on anti-depressants, have a psychiatrist, have been in hospital.

    So on SF we listen. Many times if we have to. We must always take the danger they pose to themselves seriously. To do otherwise is to risk missing that a person is going into crisis and having them act on their self-destructive feelings.

    Yes, it can be very hard to see members and our good friends here and irl get stuck in the rut of depression where they can feel hopeless and helpless. But I cannot let the comment that people don't talk about it they do it. Seriously, that is tantamount to daring people to attempt...although I know that's not your intention.

    Alarnia, you are speaking from your position of recent "success" and perhaps you have lost sight of the fact that not everyone is on the same page and at the same level at the same time emotionally. Emotional scars can last a long time. It varies from person to person. The longer the problems have existed and the worse the situation(s) that hurts a person continues, the longer and harder it is for them to just "move on." Without small successes along the way, it is near impossible for many to feel hopeful in a larger way about their lives.

    Sorry to come down on you. I'm sure your success was the result of hard work and overcoming many feelings and hardships. You are fortunate that it was successful therapy. Some here have issues that are deeply ingrained. If it took years to build up the web of their depression, it will take time and many positive experiences to break that web apart.

    I would urge all of us here to allow members the time and open forum for airing their griefs that they need.
  4. Lps

    Lps Well-Known Member

    Acy, totally agree with you. There's a person who loves me in a crazy powerful way. And every time I feel lost, she tells me: no matter what, it's okay. That is the kind of love that transforms lives.

    Sometimes when I feel especially lost, I get quiet. You know that feeling where you give up talking, because you're a stranger on the planet anyway, and even if you speak, where's it going to go? So many many times, I've gone quiet, and I haven't called her. And in a while, she'll call me, poke me a little bit. How are you? And I don't feel like talking. So I don't. And then somehow...somehow...she gradually pokes at my heart, and opens it back up again. And no matter what is in there, it's always ok, she always just hears me and tells me it's okay.

    It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. I've come to see survival as a two-part process. One hand has to reach out, and the other hand has to accept it. The human animal isn't meant to survive everything alone. That's probably merciful in some sense. Babies, without anyone to love them, don't last long. But as long as there's human beings on the Earth, we are meant to reach out to each other, in this continual process of giving and receiving, giving love and accepting it from others.

    When people say, "Pull yourself up," that's just too simple. To some extent you can, yes. But there are also times when a friend can totally transform your perception of life and your life experience.

    What I'm saying is: this forum is for talking, expressing, and that's the thing most people never get a chance to do (in a totally honest, frank way).
  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    well said Acy..I agree!
    Alarnia I'm pleased that you've found what helps you and I wish you well..

    I think it's a good thing that people reach out here for support ..for some this can be more help than all the therapy or meds in the world..
    also for some there is no one in real life for them to turn to and here is their 'family'
    I wish it was as easy as 'helping ourselves'...sometimes it's not ''mind over matter' but an imbalance in our chemical makeup that causes 'matter over mind' and
    not as easily fixed with 'I must help myself'

    My son talked about suicide for years and I was the only one who took him seriously
    his friends thought he was after attention.
    his siblings didn't believe me when I told them..
    I would rather he spoke to anyone about it rather than keep it to himself
    He succeeded in ending his life a few years ago.

    to others reading this post, please keep reaching out for help if you need it
    we are here to listen and we understand your pain
    we won't make judgments and we care
  6. Alarnia

    Alarnia Member

    You totally mistook my post, Im not telling people to go off themselfs Im saying be strong keep coming here and keep talking to others, Im not in any way fixed sorted happy Im just trying hard to keep fighting because I know somewhere down in my heart there must be a way past this, To everyone and i mean everyone never tgive up never stop fighting even when it seems you cant carry on keep fighting it keep fighting those demons and the thoughts and feelings even though its super hard keep trying come here and talk to others, I have learned that it is easier to talk to others that have been in the same situation than those who claim they are of mental health professionals they dont go through what we go through they dont feel it through there eyes we understand this place will help you if you let it so never give up.
  7. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Alarnia, the written word so sadly doesn't always convey our tone of voice. I'm sorry I misunderstood you to some degree. And really, I didn't think you meant for people to go off themselves. I meant that sometimes the way people hear what is said can sound like a challenge or a dare...And again, the tone of what we mean is really hard to pick up in our writing sometimes...I didn't mean any offence to you. :)

    Anyway, here at SF we listen and listen to people, even if they're not currently moving forward.

    I see now that you're still fighting demons, too. Some mental health professionals are great. I have a lovely caring pdoc. But in my time, I've met therapists who were totally insensitive twits. It's just good to know that with time and effort we can find a good professional - AND - come to SF to find peer-to-peer support. The right professional care is important, and so is having relationships (online or irl) with people who really know what we're feeling because they've been there, too.

    I hope I haven't peeved you or hurt you and I really hope to see more of you around the forums.
  8. Alarnia

    Alarnia Member

    You havent i just thought my posts were misunderstood ill still come on but im not going in chatroom no more its not working and im tired of the silence whenever i type its like oh its her lets hush and she will leave kinda hurts but oh well
  9. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I am sorry chat has not been positive to you - I spend many hours a day in chat and don't recall seeing you - but there are three different rooms also. Sometimes it is just quiet, waiting for somebody to start a conversation - and sometimes it is intimidating to new people because everybody seems to know each other and knows names and stuff. Please consider it a standing invitation if you ever want to check out chat feel free, at bottom of forum homepage it is usually fairly accurate who is in chat and if i am in there say hi and i will introduce you. Or simply PM me a time,day,timezone you may want to try to stop in and I will do my best to meet you there.

  10. TheLoneWolf

    TheLoneWolf Well-Known Member

    Hmmm... I mean, I know where you're coming from here... I do come here to vent sometimes, and yes some days I am feeling suicidal, but I don't say I'm going to end my life unless I actually intend to. There have been a number of times in my life when I did intend to, but I didn't tell anybody beforehand... I was just going to do it without the whole cry for help. Luckily I was able to stop myself from going through with it. But not everyone deals with their issues in the same way. You have to view threats of suicide as a cry for help, because that's what they are. You're right, most of us don't want to commit suicide - if we did, then why would we come here to a forum that tries to talk us out of it? But just because we don't want to, doesn't mean that we won't. I do a lot of things that I don't want to do. Go to work, for example. I don't want to go to work, but sometimes you feel compelled to do things that you don't want to do. I go to work because I need the money. Most people commit suicide because they're tired of the pain, not because they want to die. Sometimes people come here and post that they're going to commit suicide because they want people to talk them out of it. And yeah, sometimes they need talked out of it three or four times, or three or four hundred times. That's what this place is here for though, right?
  11. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Alarnia I'm sorry chat isn't working for you..I've read that a lot here....I don't go to chat at all..
    perhaps stay with us on the forum where someone will usually answer your post quickly :hug: