3 weeks ago i lost my reason for living....my 24 year old son Paul took his own life... I have 3 daughters who haven't bothered about me since his death ( and before it) and 4 grandchildren whom I rarely see...they all live close to me but Paul was the only one who ever bothered about me...he visited me often and we'd txt every day....he cared... I have struggled with depression all my life and had a reason to get up each day for him... i miss him so much and the pain is too much to bear.. I wish that I could not wake up tomorrow... I wonder how long before am unable to control the urge to end it ..