Hi. I'm sorry you are feeling so bad at the moment. It sounds as if you are quite suicidal at the moment.
It may currently feel as you have nothing to live for, however that isn't true. I know when you are feeling suicidal it may feel as if nothing can ever get better, but that is also not true. Things can get better for you. It is possible for you to find meaning in life and for you to feel better. Options like therapy and medication may be able to help you. And as previously mentioned in this thread, time heals and changes.
Would you like to share more about what is going on for you? Sharing can often help and you will likely find someone on this forum who has been through or is going through something to similar to you, and they may be able to help you in your darkest moments.
I hope you can feel better soon. Sending hugs
.