Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by will_1957, Dec 11, 2009.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. will_1957

    will_1957 Well-Known Member

    I was just wondering what some of the reasons are for people wanting to commit suicide and whether they are because of well-defined problems in life like financial issues or whether they are from something else.

    I know that one of the main reasons that I want to die is because of my financial situation. Before I graduated from high school I wasn't really suicidal and that was probably because I still had hope of doing something with my life. After that I just made decisions that I now regret like taking out a bunch of loans to pay for college because it's the only financial aid I could get and basically watching my debt pile up.

    Now I've graduated and am pretty much in the same situation I was in after I graduated from high school only now I have shit loads of student loans to pay back. All this time I have felt like a drain on my family because I haven't made enough money to move out to a place on my own.

    I feel like a complete failure and I really can't see myself being successful just because I'm really not good at anything. The only thing I see in my future is being a bigger drain on my family because I can't find a decent job or take care of myself.

    If it were just me I had to worry about I could stand being miserable most of the time and could stand being in a go-nowhere job if it didn't hurt any one else but myself.

    If the financial issues went away I think I might still be suicidal and I doubt my depression would just go away but right now the biggest risk factor for me is feeling like I'm just going nowhere and my family is paying for my lack of any real ambition or talent to get a decent job and live on my own.

    I guess I was wondering if other people had these kinds of issues and if they were the main factors behind wanting to commit suicide.

    (I have to go to work in a few minutes and seriously half the time I'm there I just think of how great it would be to die. If my social anxiety weren't so bad then I could probably stand dealing with people at work but I really can't stand it but I can't quit because a job's a job even if it's one that makes me feel so shitty every day).
  2. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    Because my life sucks and is only going to get worse.
  3. loser

    loser Well-Known Member

    This situation is not your fault and you seem do your best to cope with it.
    None of us can be sure how luck will turn out.
    keep a look out for opportunities.
    Interests hobbies experience can open doors sometimes.
    Have you thought about doing diary or blog about your job?
    Okay it is boring but you could look out for ways of writing about it.
    Writing is therapeutic and it helps you develop ideas get different perspectives.
    Good luck - you deserve it.
  4. TWF

    TWF Well-Known Member

    I don't like the person I've become, I'm not a horrible guy, on the nice caring side but I'm somewhat queer, alienated in personality and even features, the way I dress, how I carry myself. I'm like a repelling magnet, and all this has led to me turning into a loner character, if people don't like me fuck it then.

    I was very confident only a few years ago and even my confident self was always rejected, I had friends but they treated me so badly, and all this was from when I was a very very young age so you can imagine how difficult it is, I grew up hating others... Still, I never developed SA until about 3 months ago, and I put in a great effort to be myself around others but nothing ever materializes.

    But that's not the only reason, my depression becoming larger as a whole triggered different reasons for me wanting to die, I started looking at 'The point in life', questioning my existence, wether I should be alive and I've come to a viable conclusion that I don't have to live, i don't have to get a job and work my ass off for 60 years and then die, if I can't get myself to enjoy it there really is no point.
  5. Mortal Moon

    Mortal Moon Well-Known Member

    My finances are shitty. I'm living on my mom's dollar, which makes me feel guilty and even shittier. Family situation is tenuous. No desire to accomplish anything. Sick of this world, afraid of what it might do to me, frustrated with everything about it. I hate myself, my appearance, my personality. I want to escape, but I can't- the world won't let me. I want to be with the one person I truly love, but it can never be. So one of these days I'm just to curl up in a ball and die.

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    financial situations. yes, that did bring me to my knees more than once. things were bad. you have a choice. theres always bankruptcy. debt concolidation. there are many ways to handle debt. i lived through the stress about debt. im still paying my debts and will be for some time.

    i know and understand in todays economy, jobs are hard to find, even with good education ppl are having problems. almost makes you wonder .. why bother.
    there are ways out of debt. you simply have to find one that matches what you are capable of doing .. and do it. its not gunna go away quickly. ive been there.

    talk to ppl find soultions. if your not willing to take those steps ... then what you do is up to you. i went for 2 years of misery and now, things are mellowing out for me. its doable. you just have to get off your ass and find the answer... there are plenty.

    good luck.
  7. HMTQ - Madge

    HMTQ - Madge Member

    My suicidal reasons started off with my family situation. It eventually grew to be this huge festering monster that it is today. I only have one person who means a whole lot to me; my father, and I don't even talk to him about my problems. And lately we've been fighting real badly so it's gotten worse.

    So yeah, family problems made me suicidal.
  8. Sparky55313

    Sparky55313 Well-Known Member

    I can understand your situation. Finances play a big roll. I was once very well situated but never happy. Depression kept my thoughts and desires suicdal. Money was cool but it didn't make me happy. I have to assume you are young? In todays world one has to make a start someplace. It takes years to make a gain in todays world. At age 38 I went into debt for schooling. It took years and many changes of jobs before I hit the paydirt. I don't regret it at all. It took time and I was patient. Those debts are paid off. I had the dream job but depression took its toll on myself. Had I known medications were needed back then, who knows where I would be today.
    Hang in there. Make a realistic plan for the future.
  9. will_1957

    will_1957 Well-Known Member

    I wouldn't mind searching out those options except for the fact that my parents cosigned on all my student loans and if I fail to pay back the loans then it falls on them and I can't stand thinking about that. And it's really tempting to think that if I die all my debt magically goes away and at least the financial problem is gone.

    (Also, I am absolutely fucking stupid when it comes to personal finances and really don't know how to manage things like that. I do go to a community mental health agency and have help from someone there as far as employment and financial issues go but I don't know if that's enough).
  10. nok1888

    nok1888 Well-Known Member

    Im bipolar 70% depression 15% mania 15% mixed, meds dont work, everyone will be better of when i go
  11. Jehuty

    Jehuty Senior Member

    Lots of reasons.
    But I guess the main reason are my dreams.
    They basicly keep telling me that I should die and completely mess me up.

    ODIECOM Well-Known Member

    i can respect that feeling. how ever ... if you off yourself.. YOUR PARENTS STILL PAY FOR THAT LOAN.

    if you havnt, maybe you should talk to someone about the situation your in.
    how about your parents ? one way or the other their gunna find out.
    i guess what it boils down to is this. ... its not the end of the world. it doesnt have to be. sit yourself down and talk to your parents about whats goin on.

    you dont want them to get upset ? well, their gunna be with you gone. stand up to that which you are afraid of. its a far better person you will be to stand up and do what you have to do.

    we dont want the embarrassment sometimes, we would rather sit and wallow and kill ourself then try to endure short term stress and get things fixed.
    stand up for yourself and become responsible. im not being a jerk to you , just being realistic.

    best wishes.

  13. Emptysoul

    Emptysoul Well-Known Member

    no money, no job and no chance of getting one, my life just keeps getting worce and worce. i see no hope and ive just had enough
  14. will_1957

    will_1957 Well-Known Member

    From what I've read of the fine print on the student loans I took out, the loans are forgiven in the event of my death. If I read things right then it shouldn't matter that my parents cosigned on the loan, as long as the person who took out the loans has had their debt forgiven. There may be something in there about a suicide death not being eligible for loan forgiveness but that would seem fairly cruel to the survivors and I don't know if any lenders would want to be known for such a policy.

    This is not to say that I think suicide eliminates all my problems and the problems of my family. It only takes care of the financial problems stemming from my debt. I'm not deluded into thinking that my family would magically move on from my death and it's something that is always on my mind whenever I'm suicidal. But the financial problem looms pretty large when I get really depressed.
  15. ReallyEmpty

    ReallyEmpty Account Closed

    I have no money and no job. I live with my parents. I'm never happy. I constantly feel useless and unloved. It's like, why stay? Nothing ever truly gets better...
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.