Recently divorced and lost custody

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by anonymousName, Dec 12, 2013.

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  1. anonymousName

    anonymousName New Member

    I'm recently divorced, and I lost custody of my kids in a big way. I'll spare the details of what happened, but it's been so incredibly difficult to deal with. Immediately after I received the decision, I was so devastated that I almost completely shut down. That was a month ago, and back then I was so close to ending it...if I had found the <mod edit - methods> I was looking for one day, I would have done it then. The crux of my mood, of my thoughts of suicide are simply that living without my kids in my life (I do have every other weekend) is almost unbearable. In spite of what the judge says in the decree, I was the primary caregiver. I was there 7 days a week taking care of them. Now, I have 98 hours a month with them. There is a custody appeal on the horizon, so there is a microscopic bit of hope.

    Tonight, the suicidal thoughts returned. I think of the<mod edit- methods>under the bed, of the <mod edit- methods> I forgot about that's hiding in my truck's center console. I can't get it out of my head. Tonight is not the night. I have to wait. Wait until I know for sure I've lost my kids for good. And for what reason?
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 12, 2013
  2. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    You have not lost your kids- you have less time with them. Regardless of what happens right now or in the appeal a few weeks from now, when the kids get old enough - 12-14 in most states - their wishes become the most important thing to the court, so at the time they need you the absolute most as teenagers they can choose to spend more time with you. The only way your kids actually lose you is if you do what you are considering - then your kids will have in fact lost you forever.

    Do the appeals and hope for the best , then make the best of what happens until you can improve on it. Their are many people with full custody that do not spend a quality 96 hours hours with their kids a month - make your time count and be valuable to them - you can only do that by being there and being in a good place mentally during that time. It is not their fault what a judge said so do not make them pay for the judges error. You are too important in their lives to allow it to lose all meaning or disappear.
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