Reckless Behaviour?

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SashaJade

Well-Known Member
#1
My behaviour has become so reckless as of late.

Ive managed to tone down the cutting side of things but i'm now drinking everyday, abusing substances, smoking way to much and popping pills here there and everywhere. I never take enough pills at a time to do any “serious” damage but i'm starting to wonder if all this behaviour is eventually going to have a very bad effect on my health. I guess part of me hopes it will, a slow, “controlled” suicide form.

I don't really know how to explain this, other than my reckless behaviour is a desperate attempt to remove myself from day to day life, to shut out all the shit I feel and see on a day to day basis. It's almost like i'm walking around in my own little bubble where nothing can touch me, where I am invincible.

I probably sound like i'm talking complete trash right now, but it all makes sense to me in a twisted way.
 

tweetypie

Antiquities Friend
#2
Hiya honey
Im worried about you i see your fao and not eating well and this post to i think maybe you really need some extra support right now. I dont know if you are under any doctors or have medication but if you are it might be a good idea to go and have a chat with them and tell someone how unhappy you are at the moment. xx

:stars:
 

SashaJade

Well-Known Member
#3
Hi Sugar,

Thanks for your concern, means alot.

I see a psychiatrist, my GP and have a CPN... Im on medication... But well, I guess none of this really seems to do a lot. My Psych has decided I only need to see him once every 2 months... Which in my opinion is rediculous... but hey, he's the professional right?

My Med dose has just been doubled so hopefully that will start to help soon... Im on my 4th different lot of meds, he just cant seem to find the right one for me...

Hopefully things start to get better soon.

:hug: x
 

tweetypie

Antiquities Friend
#4
I think you are right about 2 months being too long at least while you are on a meds change. Its tough really tough when you put your hopes in doctors and then nothing seems to work but keep plugging away at it. The fact you are trying and writing about how you feel is really great because you arent bottling it all up at least not all of it. Im mostly always hanging about here so if you need to chat or just want someone to vent to im here xx
 

SashaJade

Well-Known Member
#5
Thanks Sarah, you truely are an amazing person! I just, well i'm kinda stuggling to put emotions into words at the moment. But, well when I find them you will all know about it :P

xx
 
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