I would like to share my experience with you all. For years i felt as if i didn't belong (a square peg in a round hole). When i was younger i drank too much so my parents sent me to AA and that was fine for a couple of years even though i didn't believe i needed that but i knew that it was more of a mental issue than a drinking issue. So about two years ago, i felt really low and i tried to take my own life (overdose) because i was suffering from Post Natal Depression and i didn't know that is what i had and then that didnt work, i crashed my car (that didn't work neither) so i let my son go and live with his father because i never bonded with him and it was killing me inside. I felt like an excuse for a mother. I was pretty suicidal for a while i thought everybody would be so much better off without me, i felt like a huge burden on people. I hated myself so much inside and out. I was a disaster when it came to relationships, and i didn't want myself let alone anybody else. I felt like i deserved to be punished so i sliced my arms, because it took the pain that i felt on the inside away. At one point i was going to leave but i couldn't do that to my son, i know that if i had left i wouldn't have been able to live with myself and i would have killed myself. In the meantime i met an abusive man because i felt so low about myself and i let him abuse me and i felt like i deserved it. One morning i woke up and decided to change my life around, i started to think that i was better than this. I got my son back but in the meantime i descovered i was pregnant and then i had my baby and i have bonded with my new baby and it helped me bond with my other son too and we have a fantastic relationship now. I love them both so much and i wouldn't be without them. Being a single mother is very hard but now i don't have time to think about myself and although life is tough there are great rewards in the end of it. The rest is history. I thought i would share that as i am new here.