I remember everything from 9/11 despite the fact that I was really little. I remember the teachers acted funny all day like they were sliding on a mask and trying not to cry while they taught my class. I remember the pained look on dad's face when he picked me up after school And how everything fell apart for me when he told me in that matter of fact way of his that the twin towers had been destroyed. I knew then that it wasn't just a demolition. Even my five year old self somehow recognized that that event was supposed to strike fear in our hearts and kill our hopes. That's when the most horrific nightmares of all began for me. Sometimes I would be in one of the towers, an older "me" at work. And ten the planes would smash into the tower I was in. Sometimes I was above the impact, sometimes the plane exploded into thy floor I was on, sometimes it'd be over my head. The building would shake with the impact and everyone would start to panic. If It were one of the first two scenes I'd jump off the tower to try and maybe land safely. Otherwise I'd go with the crowd and rush down countless flights of stairs. My legal would begin to hurt. I would be going on pure adrenaline. I would feel the building collapse to the ground, taking me with it. Sometimes I'm lucky and I burst out of the doors and run from the raining debris. People in the streets scream and I stare in horror from a safe distance away. Other times I'm in the hijacked planes. I see the tower looming outside the cockpit window. I can see the streets of new york out the window. So fast, and so close to the ground. I know what's going to happen. The plane crashes into the tower and everyone aboard braces for the impact even though we all know we won't leave the aircraft alive. I feel sick, I was part of the destruction. Sometimes I'm a spectator. This is the worst, I get to watch the towers' demise and everyones reactions. Its so horrible...I don't want to describe it. I'm so scared that ill get one of these dreams every night. They're my most common nightmare. Its worse than seeing the people I love die or getting hurt.