Red Revisited ( CAUTION)

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by NaDinSin, Nov 28, 2007.

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  1. NaDinSin

    NaDinSin Member

    I kind of thought I was done with this shit, But razor in hand my wrist I slit.
    I have experiance I know what to do, I pull back swiftly my aim is true.
    I watch as the red flows down my arm, when I woke this morning I ment no harm.
    But my plans they changed as oft they do, I've been so damned depressed I can't even screw.
    As I die I think on my life I think of my kids and I think of my wife. What will they do when they find me dead, a slice to my wrist a bullet to my head?
    I kind of laugh as I lay in the bath, I think of God and his possable wrath.
    But the deed is done its far to late, he simply put to much on my plate.
    So I put down the razor and pick up the phone, I call myself but nobodys home. Now the tub is full of my life, stained with my grief stained with my strife.
    Its all over and now I'm dead, down the drain my sorrow has fled.
  2. WhyMeWhy

    WhyMeWhy Well-Known Member

    Well I like the way it's worded. The "warning" drew me in(as they always do). I can safely say that I like it.... though I know what that says about me(mwahahahaha). It seems an emotional work too, and you've done an excellent job, imo. :yes:
  3. NaDinSin

    NaDinSin Member

    Thank you for your opinions WhY Me Why, it seems that I may have offended some here with my candid and frank poems. Though that is by no means my intention, I will by no means discontinue my writting here as I find it a dearly needed outlet for my feelings.
    To thoes of you who find my work offensive I offer a bit of heart felt advise: STOP reading anything writen by NaDinSin.
    Thank you
  4. I quite like it, and as wmw caught my attention with the CAUTION as any of those posts normally do. I do have to say that I enjoyed reading it as sick as that may sound, and I was able to understand what you're getting at..I fully understood the point of the poem. Thank you for sharing!
  5. curtius

    curtius Well-Known Member

    This is a good the same tone I prefer to use.

    Sadly - it made me smile.

  6. fckdupmind

    fckdupmind Member

    Another great poam by you! I love your stuff :smile:
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