Reflective Mood

Discussion in 'Positive Feelings and Motivational Messages' started by starlight2006, Sep 10, 2007.

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  1. starlight2006

    starlight2006 Well-Known Member

    I'm off on holiday on Friday with my best mates, it something we do around this time every year. And it's put me into a kind of reflective mood, but not in bad way.

    I've had such a hard year since last september. It started with a messy break up, my parents divorce and a huge problem with uni, which luckily I got through with 6 months counselling and a lot of help from my housemates at uni and my friends back home.

    I was in a bad state over the break up with my ex, which is what had prompted me to get counselling. And even though it has taken an age, im finally over it. It's finally a chapter closed in my life and im moving on.

    I think the main reason I've started to think about it is because this time last year when I went on holiday, I was still trapped by my ex. It's a long story but she hated me for going away, and even tho I had explained that i wouldnt be in touch that much she still got really pissed at me. And now this year, i'm truly free. I don;t have to think about anyone else and its a good feeling.

    When I was going thro the break up, I was oblivious to all the reasons why it was actually a good thing. It was hardly ever a happy relationship. It was long distance, and altho we were both determined to make it work, we always argued, practically everyday.

    It's only now that I have rediscovered myself and who I really am that I can see how bad it was. One of my major regrets is that I never had the courage to get out of it sooner. As much as I did love and care for her, we were never rite as a couple, we were better off as friends. But we were brought together by depression, it was the base of the relationship, the thing we first had in common. It dominated our relationship.

    Another regret is the person that I became. I guess as a misguided teenager, and through all the angst i suffered in my childhood I wanted to rebel. My relationship with my mum suffered alot. And with my ex being depressed alot, I lost the person I was. I dont blame her for her depression, I have had a lot of experience with it, but i guess i do for not seeking n e help with it. I lost my patience and my ability to help people with it. But i'm slowly getting that back.

    I guess the main point that im trying to get across is that im actually free. I'm not trapped in the prison that the relationship became. And while it'll take me a long time to forgive, I'm moving on and I'm finally reaching a point where i wont look back.
  2. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

  3. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    :hug:'s Amy, I'm glad that your feeling much better after getting out of such dominating relationship. Have a great holiday :smile: :hug:
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