Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Addy, May 6, 2010.

  1. Addy

    Addy Well-Known Member

    Ive been feeling this very intensely these past few days... kind of 'Regret blues'... the restlessness of not having achieved anything and ruined lots of chances for a better, happier, fulfilling life. I feel like I blew it one too many times and its affecting my sleep which I just utterly hate....I'm also getting emotional....and having this pain that would only be relieved knowing I wont need to feel them anymore ..... by means of ... suicide....

    I hate this... hate thoughts of the good stuff... and how I crushed it myself... whether I was just totally ignorant...or just making the wrong choices... said the wrong words... not heeding the right choice... not persevering on a path..

    The past is haunting me... the dead of night is the worst as I cant put them away... I cant leave it... therefore I cant sleep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I hate my life... I hate what Ive become... I hate what Ive done to myself...
    Have you heard of the saying... 'You are what you eat!' I feel that way about my life... my past was in my 'present' hands and I ruined it! My life is the pits now... a total mess.. a 100 steps backwards instead of forwards... Im miserable, old and have nothing.... I cant even 'dream' as there is no hope ... I feel a great loss... I feel the death of my dreams....

    Last edited by a moderator: May 6, 2010
  2. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I agree regret is tearing my Soul apart right now. In the end all we can do is learn from our regrets. Even if we won't ever get a chance to exercise what we learned.
  3. Addy

    Addy Well-Known Member

    Thanks for replying... it means more than you will ever know... when your innermost thoughts typed out in desperate despair is heard and understood.

    The power of connection is so underated.. thank you for touching my soul with your beautiful soul...

  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    It is never too late to do what you want to do To try again self sabotage is something done out of illness not on purpose I hope you do something for you okay something that brings you joy
  5. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I know what it is like to bear your soul and have no one reply. So I try and reply whenever I can. Not that my soul is beautiful, but thanks for pretending. I hope you can find a way to overcome your regret. I know I am too weak to do that... I want to say right now... but I know it is forever.
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Addy,
    It sounds as if you need to let go of the past.. Theres nothing you can do about it.. Try living for the now...I think you will be much happier..You can set goals for your future..I know it sounds easy but it takes repetitive work to stay here in the now.. Take care!!
  7. Addy

    Addy Well-Known Member

    Violet~~ Thanks for letting me off the hook so to speak... I know I didnt set out to sabotage myself and the causes are beyond my control. Moving on is the difficult part but I know I must do...or at least try...

    Stranger~~ Tis' true I need to set goals for myself from now on so I have something to look forward to thus avoid looking back... thanks for your wisdom...have been doing some soul searching and Im trying hard to work out some feasible goals for my future... hoping to avoid looking back in regret in the future..

    Forgotten_Man~~ You're definitely not forgettable... so dont even try that with me... Thanks for touching my soul with your beautiful soul and I will repeat this over and over until you recognise you have a beautiful soul!!!!!!

    Thanks all for forcing me to look forward and stir me away from my hauntingly painful past that I couldnt stop thinking about... Thanks for sharing your beautiful souls with me!!!!!!!!
  8. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I am glad I could help you look forward. Wish I could do the same for myself.